


Through Your Eyes

by Ginny41



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginny41/pseuds/Ginny41
Summary: Chaewon was searching for something special, a light to illuminate her dark days. Minjoo had lost everything, struggling to find a reason to keep going.Fate brought their paths together. Minjoo became Chaewon’s eyes, Chaewon became her reason.
Relationships: Kim Chaewon (IZONE)/Kim Minju
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	1. Through Your Day

**Author's Note:**

> A few warnings for this story:   
> 1\. This will contain trigger warnings, that migth include: domestic abuse, violence, death, mental health disorders, homophobia and mild language. I will give a warning whenever a TW happens in a chapter. This is rated M due to the TW, not smut (that won't happen here).  
> 2\. I put quite a lot of effort researching for this fic, including talking to some of my friends who are familiar with the topics and reading papers and watching interviews, as well as my own personal and medical knowledge. Of course, I can make mistakes, but I did my best for everything in this story to be as realistic and proper as possible  
> 3\. English is not, by any meanings, my first language and grammar mistakes will be present and should be expected. You've been warned.  
> 4\. I'm not sure when this will be updated, I just felt like posting so don't wait for anything.  
> That is it.
> 
> Cover is by my friend Charlie, thank you Charlie!

_There is a say about how time can’t stop for anyone, about how the world keeps turning regardless of what is happening to someone – whether it’s good or bad. People forget to mention, though, that even if the world doesn’t stop turning, maybe time can stop – even if only for a moment, for one person._

_That day, time stopped for two people._

* * *

A hand carefully explored her surroundings, quick and light touches, feeling the surface underneath it. Pavement, that old white concrete that turned grey as the rain fell over it, making it damp and irregular, revealing the small cracks that would hurt her fingers a little bit every time the woman accidentally bumped into them.

She frowned, taking a deep breath – maybe more than just one, infesting her sensitive nose with the smell of cheap street food and deteriorating trash, mixed with the natural scent of rain that only made the other scents even more unbearable to her sensitive senses.

Heavy, rushed steps in front of her, surrounding her as people run from one place to other, trying to find a safe place before the soft drizzle turned into a storm. They didn’t pay her any attention, be it because they were just too distracted, be it because they didn’t care or because looking at her made them uncomfortable – probably a little bit of all three. It was okay, she could do it on her own, she had done it many times before and today was no different.

It wasn’t the first time Chaewon had been mugged by some cheap thief, by now it was something she almost expected to happen and she knew how to prepare for when it happens.

She had just come out of the subway, trying to decide where to go next, a little overwhelmed by the surprisingly big crowd regardless of how far from rush hour they still were. She had to cover as much ground as she could today, but having so many people bumping into her and confusing her senses wasn’t helping. The fact that her nose could pick a sudden change in the usual city smell – pollution and sweat, missed with some cheap perfume –, to a more earthy, very familiar one – rain –, made her aware she didn’t have as much time today.

It wasn’t uncommon for people to bump into her, making her assume an introspective posture, to avoid it. So, when she felt someone coming too close, she was ready to step aside, but she didn’t get the change of doing so.

The boy – she supposed it was a boy, his voice was a little too high pitched for a grown man, his actions too rushed and clumsy – had tried to snatch her purse and when she instinctively tried to pull it back, he had screamed at her and pushed her aside, harshly. The young brunette had been shoved into one of the protective walls from the outer side of the subway entrance, her shoulder hitting the concrete as she fell against it, her purse being taken away while she was too dizzy to even try to defend herself.

Trying to contain a pained groan, Chaewon inspected her shoulder with her fingers, touching the skin covered by her thick beige coat – luckily it was thick enough to receive most of the impact, albeit her shoulder was still hurting, it would be fine.

She didn’t really mind the lost bag, it was cheap and she made sure to not carry anything of value there with the exception of a couple bucks to take a cab. The problem was the crack she heard her retractable cane make as she tried to use it for support during the fall, putting too much pressure on the object, sending it flying away, out of her grip.

Chaewon made a face, squinting her eyes as a frown appeared on her face. Damn time she forgot to bring a spare one, she really didn’t want to call her mother for help – again. The woman would use that overly concerned tone, the one that carried so much pain and worry that was hard to ignore, still Chae was obligated to do so.

Just for a little longer, just until she could find her, she would have to ignore her mother’s wishes.

With a final deep breath, she once more stretched her hand to grope the damp ground, searching for the – hopefully not too broken – cane. It wasn’t an easy task, she had to be careful so she wouldn’t accidentally touch some trash or end up with her hand crushed by someone’s foot. But it was okay, she just needed to stay calm and not get discouraged.

Being blind surely taught her how to be more patient – most of the time.

* * *

**“Disgusting scumbag!”** Minjoo had muttered to herself as she walked, hiding her hands on the pockets of her old trench coat, trying to shake off the cold of that gloomy afternoon. It wasn’t even that cold, but she could feel it in her bones – perhaps because her whole soul felt cold today, frozen with yet another deception. She was getting tired of it all.

For her, that day hadn’t been the greatest. Actually, she would say it was far from it.

More than ever, her shoulders were heavy with a burden that shouldn’t be hers to carry, but it still was now. A burden that every day became heavier, and she felt like she would never be able to get rid of it. The grey mass that weighted her body, making it numb, whispering all sort of bad things into her ears – her own inner thoughts, her worst enemy.

She was coming back from one of her jobs, the one where she worked at a gas station for minimum wage and some free harassment from the male customers who thought she was obligated to entertain them – today she was reminded that her boss also thinks the same, and it was the reason why she didn’t plan on coming back there.

The job was awful, her hands were always cold and smelling like gasoline all the freaking time, she had to stand up for long hours and run from the convenience store to the gas pumps whenever a customer arrived, having to fake a smile even when they would throw at her the most disgusting comments. Nonetheless, it was money. Money she really needed and that she would have to find ways to get somewhere else now that she could no longer come back to her old job – Considering she already had two other jobs, it wouldn’t be an easy task.

Minjoo had head to work early that morning, facing the cold, an ocean of people on the subway and having to walk a few miles to reach the corner where the gas station was located. Once again her boss was ‘busy’ with whatever he did outside the place and she was left to tend to the convenience store and the gas pumps, having to deal with all the customers on her own.

It was hard, but she managed to do it all alone. At least, until a middle aged man decided to use her as his ego booster, making all sort of requests before he could hand her the pay for the gas – cleaning the windshield, checking the tires, explaining about the different types of oil for his car engine…And all that while the dude would eye her with the most disgusting look, his greasy hands gripping onto her wrist as she tried to get the money he finally handed her. He had, in a very graphic way, informed he could give some extra money for _extra services_ – Minjoo had told him off and would have offered him a slap in return, if her useless boss hadn’t arrived just in time.

And of course, the man had to complain about her ‘attitude’ and the idiotic boss urged her to apologize and promise to be _kind_ to their dear customer, with the very _sweet_ reminder: _“You only work here because of that pretty face of yours. But don’t think I can’t find someone new if you aren’t willing to do what it takes.”_

**“Then what about you fire me and go fuck yourself?”** Had been her reply, the girl leaving the place as her ex-boss screamed at her about how he wouldn’t pay her anything and all that bullshit she had heard from other assholes before – it wasn’t the first job she forced to quit like this, and every time it left a huge hole in her bank account, yet she never regretted it. Her dignity was the only thing she had and she would keep it, no matter what.

Definitely, she wasn’t having a good day.

Minjoo even forgot to bring an umbrella with her, meaning that she had to run a few blocks to make sure she would reach the subway before the rain started falling. She hadn’t had lunch yet and all she wanted was to get home, eat some cheap ramem and hopefully catch some sleep before her night shift at the diner. The weight on her shoulders was so heavy that sleep was all that could save her from it, even if only for a couple of hours.

But life had other plans for her – for the two of them actually.

Minjoo needed to take the subway to reach her house and she wanted to do it as soon as possible, avoiding to get drenched by the rain. However, her eyes couldn’t help but notice the figure laying against the concrete walls, the small hands groping the floor in search of something.

Living in the city her whole life, she knew better than believing every beggar and disabled person she met on the streets, knowing most of them were just faking illness to get some money to buy drugs or even trying to mug naïve tourists. She would usually avoid them, keeping her hard-earned money to herself – but it didn’t take a genius to see that that woman wasn’t a beggar, nor a thief. Her clothes were nice, her face clean and without any signs of addiction, more than that, she wasn’t trying to reach out for the passerby, instead she seemed to be trying to do things on her own – and failing.

The brunette pondered about whether or not she should check on that woman. She already had too much going on in her life to try to help someone else, still, there was this uncomfortable feeling in her chest, making it tight and telling her to check on the woman or else she wouldn’t feel at peace.

That’s why she forced herself to stop in front of the woman, cleaning her throat before asking: **“Ma’am? Are you okay?”**

Chaewon blinked, surprised. The voice asking was feminine and nice – a hint of discomfort on it, as if the person was pushing herself to be nice; not a new reaction for Chaewon, but surely a new thing for the other woman. There was something different about that voice though, something Chaewon couldn’t tell what exactly was just yet.

Lifting her face in the direction of the voice, she blinked, uselessly trying to push aside the shadows in front of her eyes to spot the person. All she saw was more grey and black, the same thing she has been seeing for over two years now. Still, she kept looking, trying to see behind what her eyes couldn’t – and it was true that she could feel something different today.

Maybe because she wasn’t expecting for anyone’s help, maybe because that stranger seemed so awkward, but still willing to help – it definitely sparkled her curiosity and something more inside her chest. A feeling she couldn’t name quite yet, something Chaewon knew wouldn’t go away anytime soon.

**“I’m okay. But would you mind to pass me my cane if you can see it? It’s a long white stick, hard to miss.”** The blind girl’s reply came in a surprisingly calm, light tone. It matched perfectly her expression, the fine features of her face sporting a small smile, her chestnut eyes now fixed on Minjoo – not really looking, there was no light behind them, the chestnut covered by a light layer of fog, unable to see. Those eyes also couldn’t hide the inner pain the girl carried, the pain that made her smile look more like an imitation of one. It was just too obvious, or maybe Minjoo just knew that kind of pain too well to not see it.

Nodding, the younger woman started to look around for the cane, realizing just a moment later how silly it was. **“Sorry, I’m looking for it now.”** She verbalized her thoughts, her eyes going from the girl to the sidewalk, looking for anything like what she had described. She found it a couple of steps away, slightly bent, at the curb of the sidewalk where it was slowly being dragged by the water from the rain towards the manhole.

_Awesome_ , now she would probably be smelling like dirty water and with some potential _leptospirosis_ in her hands. But what choice did she have?

That blind woman was a stranger to Minjoo and by no meanings she was obligated to help her, actually if she went away the other probably wouldn’t even notice until it was too late…Still, life may not have been too kind to Minjoo, but she had learned to be. Hence why she was there now, about to dive her hand in dirty water to help a blind person she had never seen before and who was none of her business. Maybe she felt the need to help the woman because she seemed to be in a situation as unfortunate as she was.

Sighing, she crouched by the curb. Without thinking twice, she reached for it, shaking it a bit to get rid of the water.

**“I found it, miss. It was by the sidewalk curb and I think it’s not quite like it should be…It is kind of bend?”** She said, an apologetic tone to her voice, even though it wasn’t really her fault that the stick – a _cane_ like the woman called – was broken, still she felt bad for handing her the object in such state. Was it still even usable? **“I will help you to get up so I can give it back, is it okay?”** Leaning in, she hesitated before touching the woman’s hand lightly, trying to ask for her permission.

The hand touching Chaewon’s was surprisingly warm even under the insistent drizzle, the skin a little rough, albeit the touch was light and gentle. Chaewon blinked, her polite smile becoming a little more natural. The woman was now close enough for her to be able to tell the hints of vanilla coming from her, as sweet as her actions. Once in a while Chaewon would find some people like this, most of the time old ladies who would insist on helping her to cross the street or good Samaritans who seemed to see in her their good deed of the day – however, none of them ever carried this reticent tone to their voices, this note of coldness that couldn’t really reach her words, still the woman insisted on trying to insert it into her voice.

Grabbing onto the stranger’s hand, she nodded, allowing the woman to help her to get her back to her feet. Chae’s shoes made a squish sound against the wet floor, but the woman kept her safely in place, her slightly larger hands involving Chaewon’s and placing the cane back on her palm. Chaewon could feel the small calluses on her palms as she did it, her touches firm and efficient, none of the hesitance from before was there now – she was a practical person, someone a little impatient and simple; also someone who wasn’t used to doing things like this, Chaewon could tell by the awkward silence emanating from her now.

Minjoo had retreated her hand, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched the woman. The hand she had held briefly why soft and nice, fingers so slender and elegant that it made her own feel bony and clumsy. More than that, touching the other girl brought Minjoo yet another new feeling, even if only for a second, it was almost as if there was a connection between the two of them – it wasn’t like her to have such ridiculous thoughts and she made sure to step back, keeping her distance and giving the woman space. The drizzle was probably affecting her mind.

Chaewon tested the cane, noticing how short it seemed to be now that it was bent, an annoying sound coming from it with any pressure applied – it would probably break if she got distracted for a moment and rested her weight on it. Still, it was much better than not having it at all. Giving her best smile, ignoring the discomfort from before to thank the stranger who was kind enough to offer a helping hand in such time – she could do it herself, of course she could have even if took longer, but sometimes it was tiring doing everything on your own. Sometimes she could use some human warmth. **“Thank you. I guess it will survive a little longer.”** No, it probably wouldn’t, but it was okay, she just needed it to guide her to a place where she could hail a taxi home.

Seeing how fragile the object looked in the girl’s hands, Minjoo bit down on her bottom lip. That annoying, yet compelling feeling bothering her again – people rarely ever helped her in this life, still she was never able to deny anyone help and perhaps it was her biggest flaw. She had done her best to ignore this instinct before, to focus only on her own, colorless and bitter life. But today she had made an exception and now it was too late to go back.

That stupid stick would break any minute from now and she wouldn’t be the one to leave that woman to fend to herself in a city full of awful people – maybe the woman herself was an awful person, but with rain hitting them and the woman’s gentle smile, it was hard to use her cynical side now.

Therefore, she did what she thought was the best at the moment. **“We need to go. It’s going to rain and I don’t have an umbrella.”** She informed, once more her hand hesitant in touching the other woman, a few centimetres away from her arm. Was it even the right way to guide a blind person? Did the stranger even _wanted_ to be guided? Frowning to herself, she asked. **“If you need help getting home, just say. I need to ride the subway, so it won’t be a problem.”**

There it was again, hesitation, a sense of duty on her voice. She was closer now, close enough for Chaewon to be able to detect the warmth coming from her body, the scent from before even stronger now. It was hard to control her expressions ever since she lost her sight, but especially now she was having a hard time doing it, not giving in to the need of trying to squint her eyes and take a peek at the figure that was nothing more than another grey blur.

Getting a cab would be much easier, and probably safer. She had her ID safely hidden on her back pocket, the one with all her important information on it, just like a couple bucks hidden inside her shoe just in case she ever run into trouble like today. Yet, she didn’t decline the offer right away.

She tried to piece together the information about the person in front of her. What did she even know? It was clearly a female, her voice indicated she was young, the unwrinkled skin of her hand said she should be even younger than Chaewon herself, but probably came from a much harsher life. She was kind enough to help when no one else had, to get out of her way to offer a stranger a favor when she didn’t have any need to do so, even if she didn’t seem the typical type to do so…

**“Thank you, I will accept the offer.”** She informed, deciding to take the risk. She had reached a point in life where there wasn’t much to lose, just to win, and something about that stranger told her, it maybe it for her. **“My name is Chaewon and I would appreciate the help.”**

The slightly taller brunette looked at the woman, Chaewon, with a hint of surprise and relief – why? She should feel even more burdened to have to scoot this woman to her home, wasting precious sleeping time. Yet, she didn’t feel annoyed, actually she felt glad. Maybe her conscious wouldn’t let her live if she didn’t do it. **“I’m Minjoo. May I guide you?”** She asked, this time reaching out for Chaewon’s arm with more confidence, although her touch was still as light as ever.

The woman’s reply was another nod, as she reached out to fix Minjoo’s hand placement, gently making her let go of it so she could be the one to hold her arm instead, showing the proper way to guide a blind person – otherwise it would be dangerous for both of them. Chaewon passed her cane to her other hand, shaking it to try and fold it back to put it on her pocket, allowing Minjoo to guide her by the right arm. **“Just let me know when there is a step or a corner. You will be my eyes for now, so please take care of me.”** She asked with a small bow of her head, a little too formal, but it served to show how much she appreciated the help she was receiving.

Minjoo tensed up a bit, taking a breath before starting to walk with small, carefully steps as she helped Chaewon to move through the crowd. **“We will need to climb down the stairs to reach the subway. There is a hand hail to your left, and there are like…I don’t know, maybe 20 steps?”** She tried her best, for what the woman just squeezed her arm lightly in return.

**“I know the way around here a bit. As long as you walk slowly, I won’t fall. Promise!”** Chaewon’s smile was now almost playful, very different from the sober expression she had when Minjoo first spotted her by the sidewalk, looking so lost and fragile. Back then the fact that the girl wasn’t in tears surprised her, in her place most people would cry – she had cried enough to know it wasn’t something you can really control, no matter how much you try; but instead, Chaewon was there quietly searching for her cane, her lifeless gaze unfocused as her hands groped the ground.

That woman wasn’t a weak one.

With a sense of respect flourishing in her lungs, she nodded to herself. “ **Okay, then I will just count so we can stay in sync.”** She managed to do so, counting every step of the way, slowly, but surely guiding them inside the subway station.

They didn’t talk much, their voices coming out just to count out loud, as in sync as their steps. It was quite an odd sight, but none of them minded any looks they may receive – may it be because they were counting like children, or because they were both a little disheveled due to the rain and Chaewon’s clothes were dirty, or even the fact that one of them was blind; it didn’t matter.

Chaewon couldn’t see the looks, Minjoo didn’t care about them.

Minjoo only asked which train they needed to take and Chaewon explained it, the two of them going back to silence as they sat in the nearly empty car after Minjoo paid for their tickets. It was the middle of the day, people were still busy with work to fill it like it usually was in the mornings.

The subway car made the usual robotic sound as the doors opened and closed, the metal structure moving slowly before picking up speed, vibrating ever so slightly underneath Chaewon’s sensitive fingers on the plastic chair. The car was quiet today, just like her companion – but she could still feel Minjoo’s presence, the grey silhouette sitting beside her, shooting her glances that didn’t fail to give Chaewon this weird feeling that was like a shiver, yet not an unpleasant one. She wondered if she looked too much like a mess for Minjoo to stare at her like that, or if it was something else.

She was attempted to run a hand through her brown hair, but she remembered she had touched the dirty floor earlier and it would probably only make the situation worse. She let out an airy chuckle, amused at her inability to check her appearance and still caring about it just because she had company today – maybe she hadn’t completely moved on from her shallow habits.

Now she could feel Minjoo’s gaze heavier on her, and she turned to face her direction – no matter how little she could see, now it was only shadows and flashes of light, she never closed her eyes. Chaewon could feel the weight of her gaze, but she couldn’t possibly tell the emotion behind it – this always made her a little restless, prompting her to talk. **“If I’m looking like I just fell into a swamp, you should tell me so I can pretend to be ashamed of it.”** She couldn’t see, but she still could hear, now more than ever.

Those words took Minjoo aback, making her blink in confusion. It was a joke of course, but once more she wasn’t prepared for Chaewon’s easy humor. It was unexpected, for her it didn’t make much sense for someone like that woman – someone what? Who had just been mugged and lost all her money? Who was left under the cold drizzle completely defenseless? Someone _blind_? **“I…No.”** She managed to say, grimacing and averting her eyes to her own hands. She had been staring at that woman without realizing it, noticing her small face framed by the long hair, her pretty features in perfect harmony, although there were dark circles under the bright eyes that were unable to see any light. They were so different, Minjoo could tell without even asking her anything, and it brought her certain fascination she was trying to hide now. **“You look fine. Your clothes are just a little dirty, but that’s all.”**

**“That’s good to know. I would hate to be walking around with some gum stuck to my face or something like this.”** Another soft chuckle, more relaxed this time. She was testing the waters now, noticing the reactions of her new friend – could she even call her like this? Minjoo’s voice was still as flat as before, no laughter, no scoffing, just a bit of surprise. Interesting. **“How old are you?”**

A frown was formed on Minjoo’s face, she wasn’t expecting having to make small talk with this stranger, moreover having to deal with silly age hierarchies and all the formality that comes with it. They wouldn’t even see each other again after today, so why bother? **“Why?”**

**“I just like knowing if I was able to guess people’s age correctly.”** Chaewon just shrugged her shoulders, making it clear her question didn’t have any bigger implications. It wasn’t her intention to push too much, she didn’t want to be intrusive, just get to know a little bit about the other girl. **“You see, I don’t have that many hobbies.”**

Just like with everything about this woman, the answer wasn’t what Minjoo had expected, but it seemed very appropriated. **“And what did you guess?”**

**“That we are about the same age?”** Chaewon’s forehead creased a bit, as she tried to think. Voices could be tricky, sometimes a person could sound much younger than their real age, or much older…The touch of Minjoo’s hand on hers couldn’t lie though. **“Middle 20’s?”**

For the first time that day Minjoo’s lips went up to form a small smile, more amused about how serious Chaewon seemed to be about guessing her age, than to how accurate she was – and she was pretty on point. **“I think you’re good at it.”**

Chaewon’s smile was now big enough to make her eyes curve into half-moons, however she didn’t have time to say anything more, the train reaching her station. She expected Minjoo to drop her off there, but as the girl guided her to the exit, she didn’t let go of her arm – Chae didn’t tell her to do so either, just giving Minjoo more directions, this time to her house.

And there goes any caution they had.

* * *

Minjoo walked with Chaewon through the clean streets of an upper-class neighborhood, discomfort filling her up as they passed by people – she usually didn’t mind whether or not anyone was looking at her, but that place made her feel like a fish out of water. They were pretty far away from her house, an apartment in a much grayer and uglier neighborhood, the place she had been known for her whole life and desperately tried to escape from. How ironic for her to wish to be there now.

It didn’t help that Chaewon wasn’t saying anything, the girl was surprisingly quiet at the moment – and when she did say something, it wasn’t quite what the younger woman expected, or wanted, to hear.

**“You need money.”** Were Chaewon’s words as they slowly made their way up hill, towards her house. She could feel the fabric of Minjoo’s coat underneath her fingers, it was a little rough, thin, the kind of cheap material her mother would never wear. It also made sense since the girl should live around the area where they met, an area much poorer than Chae’s neighborhood. Minjoo also knew the subways well, what meant she rode it frequently, what also meant she probably didn’t have money for private transportation…Chaewon was making a lot of assumptions, but she had a good feeling this time.

Truth was, Chaewon had been quiet until now because she was thinking. Thinking long and hard about whether or not to ask what she was about to ask now. Regardless of how much she thought, she still decided to push through with it.

She barely knew Minjoo and here she was, about to ask for her help – and she hadn’t started in the best way.

**“I’m sorry, what?”** Now there was a hint of irritation in Minjoo’s tone, far from flat, it was an octave higher – offended. Of course, she had her pride to defend and she didn’t appreciate to be looked down. She tried to control her annoyance, letting her gaze go from Chaewon’s face to her clothes – clothes that she now realized were very different from hers, from the coat made out of the softest fabric, probably from a expensive brand; to the shoes that seemed to be made personally for her…Great, she had picked a spoiled brat to help and now Chaewon was thinking she would ask for her money. Why did everyone she met that day was trying to shove their money on her face? **“I didn’t help you to ask for money. So, if you think I-”**

**“I know you didn’t. I currently have only twenty bucks on me and it’s hidden inside my left shoe. So, it would’ve been a bad deal for** **you.”** Chaewon cut her before she could finish her words, trying to clarify the situation before Minjoo could proceed. She had met plenty of gold-diggers before, enough to know Minjoo was far from being one. **“I’m sorry if I just gave you the wrong impression, it’s not what I meant.”** She apologized, hoping her sincerity was apparent. Her chestnut eyes coming to look at Min’s direction – or through her to be more exact –, the smile from before was long gone, replaced by a resolute expression. **“But you indeed need money. So, please, work for me.”**

It was nonsense and part of Minjoo just wanted to let go of her arm and leave, cursing the woman for making her waste her time. Still, she couldn’t do it – not only because leaving Chaewon alone on the streets just didn’t seem right, but also because there was something different about her voice now. Pleading. Her face also revealed an expression of expectation, a need that was almost desperate.

More than that, no matter how much she would hate to admit, part of Minjoo was as desperate and the prospect of making money, of getting a job after today, was something she couldn’t ignore. But what could she do for a blind, rich girl? The gas station was awful, but she knew right from the start what she was getting into, here she had no idea. **“And what could I possibly do for you?”**

Chaewon grasped a little tighter onto Minjoo’s arm, a tense smile on her face. She could feel the annoyance on the other woman’s voice, her heavy breath reflecting impatience, still probably irritated by Chaewon’s words – hopefully she could make her change her mind once she explained the situation. It was probably a bad idea, probably a terrible one. But she had to try and Minjoo’s sudden appearance could only be a sign. **“Help me to find something really important.”** She finally said, her voice serious as she asked. **“Please.”**


	2. Through Your Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TW’s for this chapter. Usual rules, a single line indicates a short time skip (minutes/hours), double lines a long one (a day, in this particular case). Audio/text messages in bold italic.

_ The world doesn’t change, it remains the same no matter what happens to its occupants. But people change – for better or worse. The world continues to run, even when you can no longer walk. _

* * *

A moment of silence, Minjoo’s wary eyes darting as she wondered if this was some kind of elaborate prank. She had learned a long time ago that opportunities never come easily, that jobs were hard to get and even harder to keep – a random woman offering her a new job out of the blue, in the middle of a rich neighborhood, could only be a scam. **“I’m afraid I’m not following, miss.”** She finally said, her voice cold. It would be better to end this nonsense now, blind or not, that woman couldn’t be reliable if she decided to trust a stranger with an important job.

Chaewon, however, didn’t seem to mind her dry reply. The touch on Minjoo’s elbow was still as gentle as ever, Chaewon kept a hopeful look on her face as she tried her best to explain the situation. **“My dog. I need you to help me to find my dog.”**

Blinking, the slightly taller girl turned to face Chaewon with a deep frown. A _dog_? That woman needed her to find a dog? If this was a scam, it was surely a very creative, yet silly one. **“You were out there to look for your dog?”** Her voice was skeptical as she examined Chaewon’s face in search of something that betrayed her true feelings, albeit she failed to find anything there.

Nodding, Chae decided to be as honest as she could be about it. After all, she needed help and considering how odd this whole situation may look for the other woman, she couldn’t blame Minjoo for not believing her words easily – she wouldn’t have if she was in her place. **“Yes. I do it every day. But as you can imagine it is…”** Grimacing, she gestured towards her eyes, hating to have to point out her already obvious weakness at the moment. Her once prideful persona would never do such a thing, but she had learned to be humble in the worst way possible. **“ _Difficult_ in my current condition.”**

Even though Chaewon couldn’t see her, Minjoo still avoided her gaze, suddenly embarrassed for having been so distrustful when the other brunette clearly needed her help. Of course, service dogs were rare and very precious to their owners, Chaewon must be having a tough time without one. Now Minjoo was the one to feel like a scam for thinking the worst about the woman. **“How long have you been looking for it?”** She also wanted to ask why her family wasn’t helping to look for the dog, or how the dog had escaped since those animals were supposed to stick by the owners no matter what, those questions though, were a little too personal and she decided it wasn’t her place to ask them.

** “Almost a month.” ** Chaewon replied quickly, as if she already expected for this question and the reaction that would come with the answer – and she did, after all her own mother had shown it before. She knew what people thought, she knew it all too well, but she couldn’t bear to listen to them.

** “Oh, I see…”  ** There it was, the skepticism in her tone, the unsaid yet very clear ‘it’s too late, a hopeless case’. Minjoo, like everyone else, was just being realistic – Chaewon didn’t need realism and pessimism now though, she needed someone to be her eyes while her stubbornness guided them; and she surely had a lot of persistence in her.

** “My dog is not dead.”  ** Her voice was sharp now, clear and confident – she had to be, or else all hope would be lost and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing her last source of hope. No matter how silly, or impossible it may seem to others, for her finding that dog meant a lot. It was the one thing that kept her going and she wouldn’t give up on it. **“I would know if she was.”**

Chaewon’s resolute tone was challenging Minjoo’s naturally pessimistic self. For Minjoo it was clear it was a lost cause, that the dog must have been long gone, unable to survive in a big city full of fast cars and hostile people. Yet, Chaewon’s expression didn’t give space for doubt, charged with a confidence that was born purely from hope – Min thought it was admirable, yet foolish. **“And how do you plan on doing it? You can’t…”** She paused, unsure about how to continue. **“You know.”**

** “I don’t need to see her, she will see me.”  ** Chae explained it with ease. It was awkward to refer to her own disability at first, she used to hate it, but she had learned that acceptance is the fastest way to happiness – or the closest to it she could get. **“She will come to me when she notices my presence. She is just a little lost right now.”** _Like Chaewon herself_. With a small sigh, she forced a smile, picturing the image of the dog in her mind. She could only hope her words were correct, time was running out quickly. **“It is my fault she ran away to begin with. I need to find her.”**

There was another moment of silence, a heavier one this time, as Minjoo nodded slowly. It was a job, but a hopeless one. Even if that woman could pay her, did she really want to get money out of a blind girl just for looking for a dog that was probably already dead? It didn’t seem right to do so. **“I understand. But I have a lot to do and maybe you could find someone-”**

** “How much do you make a day? I can pay you the double. It would only be for a few hours every day.”  ** Chaewon didn’t allow Minjoo to finish, knowing she couldn’t let this chance go to waste. **“See the white house uphill? It’s mine.”** It wasn’t like her to brag, but right now she needed to show her promises weren’t just empty words. **“Ironically, none of my problems can be solved with money, but maybe I could help you to solve some of yours in return for helping me.”**

Minjoo pressed her lips into a thin line, uncomfortably shifting her weight from one leg to the other as her eyes examined the white structure standing tall a couple of meters ahead – it wasn’t the biggest house in that neighborhood, yet it could easily fit four or five apartments like hers. No, she shouldn’t accept money for a job she couldn’t possibly succeed in. Yet, the memory of that morning’s fiasco and the hole it would leave in her bank account, didn’t allow her to leave right away. She wasn’t proud of it, but she needed money and that woman seemed to have a lot more than she would ever have. **“Why me? If you have money, you could have a bunch of people working on it.”**

It was Chae’s turn to have to hide a grimace, forcing a smile instead. She had already tried, her mother sent a bunch of people to look for the dog to no avail. It wouldn’t do, she needed to be the one to find it. **“Because you’re nice enough to help me for free, so I’m pretty sure you would do a good job for a decent pay.”** She said instead of explaining, deciding it should be enough for now. One step at time. **“I’m not asking you to find the dog, just to help me to go around looking for it and if we do, you get a bonus.”** Relaxing her smile, she tried to use the charming one that used to work so well. **“And come on, Minjoo, it would be heartless to refuse to help a blind woman. Don’t you think so?”**

** “Just to look for it…” ** Min repeated, trying to not get swayed by Chaewon’s bright smile that was pretty enough to almost distract her – yet it failed to reach her eyes, making Minjoo aware that this smile, like all her others, was just a façade to hide her true emotions. Finding that dog should really mean a lot for Chaewon. Would it be really wrong to make money out of it? She would still be offering her help and Chaewon seemed to be aware of how low the chances of succeeding were…Minjoo wasn’t really in a position to decline such an offer. **“What is the name of the dog?”**

For the first time that day, Chaewon’s smile became smaller, yet more genuine as she hid a sigh of relief. She just knew Minjoo would help and it gave her a new sense of hope – and hope was all she could rely on now. **“Yudaeng.”**

* * *

A sigh, long and deep. Thirteen steps until she reached the living room, it would be another ten to reach the music room – she knew the numbers by heart now, albeit her voice would still echo through the room as she counted to herself; it wasn’t like she was afraid of bumping into stuff, at least not any longer, it was the fact that the silent house made her unease. Well, it had been her choice, but sometimes she wondered if she had made a mistake.

The sound of her light steps was absorbed by the thick carpet, her right coming to pat the walls light as she walked. She knew every corner of that house, no white cane needed, her hands recognizing the different textures of the wallpaper as she went from a room to another, reaching for the phone table and then the couch. The elegant fabric with an intricate pattern was familiar – she remembered it being of an elegant shade of green, but her memories were starting to get blurry now. Sitting on the soft couch that received her weight without making a single sound, Chaewon laid down not minding if she was still in the same clothes she had been shoved to the ground earlier – the jacket was disposed by the entrance, just like her shoes, but she could still feel the cold grip of the streets within her body. Later she would need to take a long bath, however, she didn’t want to move just yet.

Truth be told, she hated going out. She hated the constant unsureness it gave her, how it made her so aware of her limitations and weakness, how helpless she felt there compared to the safety of her home – but then again, she also felt a bit suffocated to be inside all the time, unable to exercise the freedom she once had. The problem wasn’t the place, it was _her_.

There were two types of blind people: the ones born like that and the ones who become like that. Chaewon, of course, was the latter. Even now, she couldn’t simply close her eyes and relax, instead she would stare at the ceiling, watching the different shades of gray that were the only thing she could see now. Was she expecting some sort of miracle? To suddenly be able to see again? It would be foolish of her, yet, she wouldn’t ever be able to shake off this feeling. Being able to see, even if only shadows, was still better than to be left in the complete darkness and she didn’t want to forget it.

** “One step at time.” ** Chae muttered to herself, trying to force her stubborn body to relax. No, she wouldn’t be getting her vision back any time soon – if ever –, yet she had made some important progress today and she had to believe she was in the right path. 

Trusting a stranger was never easy, but she had no option but to take a leap of faith and believe Minjoo could be what she needed. Minjoo showed up in her life right when she was starting to get discouraged and relying solely on hope – a very thin line to keep her afloat. 

Looking for her dog was more than an act of love for a dear pet, it had a lot to do with her will to keep going. Ever since her vision became blurry and gray, she slowly lost all the things that used to make her life feel like it was worth living – that dog was part of this old life, an important element she couldn’t afford losing. More than finding Yudaeng, she needed a way to find herself again.

Kim could feel her phone vibrating in her back pocket, before a familiar song was heard – her mom was calling. Chaewon didn’t want to talk to her right now – or to anyone in particular –, but she knew better than ignoring the call. Her hand skillfully reached for the phone, her fingerprint finding the sensor to unlock the device to allow her to answer the call. **_“Mom, hey…Can I call you back later? I’m about to eat and you know how messy I can be when I’m eating…”_** She said naturally, the lie coming easily. She didn’t enjoy lying to the one person who loved her the most, yet it was becoming a habit ** _. “No, no, I had lunch already. I’m just having some snacks Mrs. Jung made for me…Yeah, yeah, I won’t forget. Bye!”_** She made sure the call was over, before throwing her phone aside. 

Worry and fondness…Her mother always sounded worried now, as if she was expecting bad news every single time they spoke – and maybe she was, fate had been cruel enough to them to make her always expect the worst. Still, she hated how heavy her chest felt, she hated having to carry these little lies and trying to put up a strong front. She wasn’t even sure it was the right thing to do, but she couldn’t think about anything else.

Chaewon was all her mother had left, she was the one constant in the older woman’s life and she couldn’t afford worrying her. Chae just wanted her mother to move past the family’s tragedy, she wanted her mom to understand that regardless of what happened, she was fine now and she could do things on her own – of course, this was only partially true. 

Trying and achieving something were very different things. In the past two years, Chaewon had been trying her best to adapt to her new situation and grow independent from both, her disability and the bitterness that came with it. Learning to navigate the world again, to read in a different way, to listen more and to give herself the time she needed…Those things weren’t easy to do, even now she was nowhere as good as she wished she was, regardless of the overwhelming support she received from her mother and their family’s money.

She tried, she really did, more than just to learn new things, but to understand that even in her worse she still had it better than most people – those were things people would often say, yet that failed to really resonate within her.

Money made life easier, even now, she could just lay down and rest, because she knew Mrs. Jung would have left her food ready and the house clean; the security system was also activate, making sure the house was safe and it would only take her a call to have someone coming if something ever happened…Compared to the lives of most people in that city, she was probably really lucky. 

She didn’t feel like she was though.

Yudaeng’s escape, over a month ago, was the first time she actually felt something in a long time – and out of all things, it was guilt. She had shouted at the dog for being too noisy barking that afternoon, taking out in the animal her frustration, and she would probably have gone with her day as usual if Yudaeng hadn’t run away when Mrs. Jung arrived for her shift. Back then she felt annoyed at first for having yet another thing to bother her, this annoyance growing into frustration and anger at herself for being unable to look for the dog on her own and needing to deal with an overly dramatic Mrs. Jung apologizing profusely. It only became worse when her mother arrived and found them on the street cluelessly looking for the dog…Hours and hours were gone before she knew and no signal of Yudaeng

She felt dumb and guilty, her original annoyance turning into worry as she imagined all bad things that could happen to the dog if they couldn’t find it. The frustration became even greater once she realized she couldn’t even look after her own pet. 

Her mother, of course, had tried her best to help. Even getting some people to search the streets, but it was of no use, and as days turned into weeks, she couldn’t help but get more and more obsessed with the idea of finding the dog on her own – an idea that horrified her mother, the older woman’s overly protective instincts making her worry the double. 

That’s why Chaewon had to pretend to give up, to put a fake resigned smile on her face and say they should stop looking for the dog. Her conscience and heart were both still heavy, demanding her to act, but she couldn’t ignore her mother’s growing worries and how it was starting affecting their daily lives – once more she had to deny her mother’s request for her to move in with her and leave behind the independent life she so desperately needed to keep. 

Now Chae acted in secret, telling her mother she was once more busy working on her music and doing just fine on her own, while actually leaving the house in the hours Mrs. Jung wasn’t around and coming back before she arrived, trying her best to brave herself up and face this gray world, in the hopes that Yudaeng would come to her once it saw her – it was a crazy idea, she knew it all too well, yet she couldn’t give up. 

Reaching out for Minjoo was her new way to keep going, maybe with the other girl’s eyes she would finally be able to bring Yudaeng home – and not end up on the ground after some kid stole her stuff again. Being independent was important, but she couldn’t put her silly pride above other things now. 

She wasn’t sure if finding the dog would really change anything, if it would only easy her heavy conscience or bring her back to the old routine – if they _could_ actually find the dog, the chances were slim. 

Still, Chaewon wanted to be optimistic for just this once. Maybe meeting Minjoo wasn’t just a coincidence, but a real chance of a change, whichever way it could present itself. 

Sitting down, Chae stared at the gray blur that was her hand, bringing her left one to hold it and feel the smooth skin of her palm. Minjoo’s hand was very different from hers, the warm and slightly rough skin denouncing a much harder life than the one Chaewon lived. Maybe that job represented something new for Minjoo as well.

** “Maybe it can be a change for you too, stranger.”  **

Yeah, that deal would bring something new for their lives. Maybe even better than she first thought.

* * *

Minjoo reached the restaurant right in time for the slow afternoon shift – the few patrons in the place didn’t spare her a glance as she entered the old korean-style construction, she still greeted them stiffly as she walked towards the back of the place. **“Chaeyeon, I am here.”** She informed, entering the employees-only area where the slightly older woman should be busy fixing everything for the night.

** “Minjoo, you are early!” ** Chaeyeon greeted her with a mix of surprise and excitement, after all she didn’t expect to see the other girl until much later today for her evening shift, however Lee would never complain about having company for the ever so boring afternoons at the diner. **“Did that old man finally give you a day off ?”**

** “More like I got myself out of that shit hole.”  ** Minjoo’s quick reply came as she sat by the counter, resting her back against the wooden wall of the small kitchen as she stared at her friend. **“Don’t even ask about it, it was long overdue.”** Minjoo wasn’t the type to talk about her personal life, yet she knew Chaeyeon since their high school days and she was one of the few people she relied on and trusted enough to rant about her shitty jobs. Lee, who was older only by a year, would often try to give her advice and help in the best way she could. Minjoo lost count of the number of times Chaeyeon told her to leave the gas station and report her boss’ misconduct – she never did, because she knew the cops would never do anything to favor a woman over a man, she might’ve ended up getting sued instead of the other way around.

Shaking her head slightly, Chaeyeon bit back a comment. For all the years she knew Minjoo, she had learned to respect her decisions even if they didn’t always seem to make sense. Minjoo liked to do things on her own, for the good or the bad, and Lee understood she had her reasons for being like this – it didn’t mean she wouldn’t try and help whenever she could, but staying within the limits was important to keep their easy-going friendship. **“I guess you need a new job then?”** She asked instead, fixing her hair in a ponytail and moving through the small kitchen of the place. **“Did you even have lunch?”**

** “Actually, no…For both. It’s kind of a long story.”  ** Minjoo sighed, her eyes on the bowl of noodles Chaeyeon just placed in front of her, the familiar scent of _jajamyeon_ filling her nostrils, yet her stomach didn’t react to it as it should – no wonder, her mind was full and her body was heavy after going through so much stress today, asking for some rest over anything else. She ignored its demands, grabbing the chopsticks over the counter as she thanked her friend before digging into the meal. 

She couldn’t rest yet. Rather, she would prefer to not. Resting meant going back to her apartment and Minjoo didn’t enjoy going home – was home even the correct word? She never knew anywhere else, but it didn’t feel like the word was a good fit for that place. 

Chewing on the noodles, she thought about the complicated day she had so far. From waking to the unpleasant gray sky and coldness biting her toes, to the hell of a morning at the gas station and the disgusting men she dealt with – she could still remember the rough touch of that man on her wrist, the dark gaze that made her feel small and violated, her former boss’ equally depreciative look as he talked down to her…The memories made the noodles taste sour, but she mindlessly swallowed it, forcing her body to accept the food. It wasn’t the first, nor it would be the last time, she would encounter that kind of man, she wouldn’t allow them to ruin her day any further. 

Things had turned out in a very different way than expected, actually, she wasn’t sure if she should be glad or worried. Yet, when the memory of Chaewon came to her mind, the feeling surrounding it wasn’t unpleasant, it was just…She wasn’t even sure of how to describe it. Helping that woman seemed like the right thing to do at the time, something she couldn’t help but do, to remain as a decent person, however she had second guessed her choice a few times. That neighborhood, Chaewon’s fancy house and clothes, the way she could just tell right away Minjoo wasn’t wealthy…It all also made her feel small, it made her painfully self-aware and uncomfortable, this time in a very different way.

Chaewon’s gaze, albeit blind, was never even once tainted by the pitch-black hue of cruelty or even arrogance. The hands that held her arm were soft and slightly cold, the grip gentle and light. Her words carried sincerity in them, her request was a reasonable, even if nearly hopeless, one. Chaewon wasn’t like those men.

Still, it didn’t mean Minjoo made the right choice.

A job that pays well to complete a seemingly easy task, should feel like a gift. But life had taught her to be wary of people and easy money, of favors and luck that comes out of nowhere. For people like her, life was about being realistic and keeping her feet on the ground, it wasn’t about impossible dreams and magic turn outs, but about working hard everyday to barely make a living.

Minjoo wasn’t used to being lucky and she wondered if meeting that blind girl was indeed a lucky moment or just another trap of fate. 

Well, she didn’t really have much of a choice now. 

** “Minguri? Minjoo!”  ** Chaeyeon’s voice took Kim out of her thoughts, making her avert her gaze to meet her friend’s puzzled look. 

** “Sorry. It’s just been a long day.” ** Shrugging her shoulders, she put her chopsticks aside for a moment, giving the older woman her attention. Minjoo didn’t even realize she had been so closed off in her own mind, therefore she tried her best to go back to the present moment and not let her mind wonder again – it happened a little too often, and not always for good reasons. **“What did you say?”**

** “I asked you what happened. Did you already find a new job so soon?” ** Lee furrowed her eyebrows, her brown eyes showing confusion. Of course, for her friend, Minjoo appearing out of the blue in the middle of the afternoon and giving half answers could only be confusing. Min apologized once more, this time with a stiff smile as she straightened her back, getting ready to speak. 

It took her a moment to arrange the words in her mind, before she could speak. **“I met someone, this woman who was just by the subway and some kid had stolen her stuff and pushed her. She was…”** She started, her voice trailing off as she spoke. It was one of those weird things, to feel awkward talking about something that should be normal, but felt like a delicate topic – it didn’t make much sense considering Chaewon wasn’t even there to be offended by her poor choice of words. **“She is blind and I helped her to find her cane.”**

Chaeyeon raised her eyebrows, intrigued by Minjoo’s words. **“You played the good Samaritan and it got you a job?”**

Minjoo made a face, knowing how weird it could sound, it sounded weird even to her own ears. **“It’s a long story.”**

The other gave her a knowing smile, taking a seat beside her. “ **We have two hours until things start to get busy here.”** She gestured to the nearly empty restaurant area, where they would be serving customers through the night, Minjoo running from side to side to tend to all the tables while Chaeyeon worked in the kitchen and they barely had any time to rest, the more to talk. **“Tell me about that woman while you finish your food.”**

And so Minjoo did as requested – albeit she couldn’t really bother eating the noodles. Lee’s food was amazing, but Minjoo’s stomach just couldn’t accept anything more for now, the nerves making it turn into knots as she told the unusual proposal Chaewon made her. 

** “Hm, so she wants you to help her to find a dog?” ** Chaeyeon asked after she finished, nodding her head in understanding. **“Sounds like a great deal for you!”** There was a smile on the older woman’s face, a smile born from the relief of seeing her friend away from that greasy gas station and with a new, much better occupation – Minjoo, however, had a grave expression, her lips pressed as she still wondered if she had made the right decision by accepting that proposal. 

** “Yeah, I know. I’m just not sure if it’s that great of a deal for her.” ** Once more Minjoo lowered her shoulders, crossing her arms as she rested against the counter and glanced at the outside world through the blurry windows of the diner – people passing by so quickly, the gray city never stopping regardless of the heavy rain that now falls over it, making the neighborhood with its small buildings and narrow alleys look even more lifeless. **“Would you still try?”**

Chaeyeon didn’t mind Minjoo’s sober tone, knowing well how her friend’s mind worked. **“Searching for something I really loved?”** She echoed, taking a sip out of her mug before replying. **“Yeah, of course. Wouldn’t you?”**

** “I don’t know it would be worth it.”  ** Using the chopsticks to move around the noodles she no longer had any interest in, Kim just shrugged her shoulders, her expression blank as she replied – it didn’t fool Chaeyeon, Minjoo tended to put up her walls sometimes, most of those times for reasons Chaeyeon didn’t know but could still understand. Minjoo's life had been much different from Lee’s and sometimes Chaeyeon wondered if the younger girl would ever be able to leave it behind completely . **“It would probably** **end up hurting all the same.”**

** “But wouldn’t it hurt more if you didn’t even try?” ** Chaeyeon’s quick reply came with a serious look, but a gentle smile as she patted Minjoo’s back lightly. **“Go ahead and take a nap in the back room, I will call you when it’s time to start your shift.”**

Minjoo didn’t have the chance of replying, being pushed to the small room at the very back that served as an office with an old couch pushed against one of the walls, it wasn’t exactly comfortable but it would be enough for a quick nap before a six hours shift – she often slept there, offering to close down the restaurant just to stay over and sleep there instead of going back to her own place, favoring the stiff couch to what awaited for her at the apartment. Chaeyeon knew her a little too well. **“Thanks, _Jjayeon_. But please, don’t start without me.”** She offered her friend a smile, before dragging her sore body to the office – stress could hurt much more than working for hours, the type of tiredness sleep couldn’t always fix. 

As she laid down on the couch, her eyes gazing at the low ceiling with small cracks in the painting here and there, she took in a deep breath before closing her eyes. She silently prayed for a quiet, dreamless sleep. Yet, her mind still echoed Chaeyeon’s words for a long time before she could finally be welcomed in Morpheus’ kingdom.

_ Wouldn’t it hurt more if you didn’t even try?  _ Maybe. But sometimes trying hurts just as much – every single time. 

Hugging herself, Minjoo, forced all thoughts out of her mind, embracing the numbness that was both her savior and doom.

* * *

* * *

Minjoo showed up on Chaewon’s doorstep exactly at the time they had agreed on – at least she ringed the bell when the clock marked 9 a.m., albeit she had arriven around five minutes earlier. Her slow, steady steps climbing the bright streets of the neighborhood that seemed to be projected to mirror its residents’ wealth so well, elegant houses with tall gates and walls, green gardens hidden by heavy wooden and glass doors. There were no kids running around, no street vendors shouting, no signal of dirt on the streets or people crowning the alleys, just cars with shiny exteriors and dark windows…It was a different world indeed, and once more, Minjoo felt uncomfortable to be there.

Today, however, she made sure to dress up well – jeans and a white shirt, her best jacket covering her torso; simple, but neat. Keeping her head held up high and ignoring any looks she received. Her dark eyes inspecting every corner, as she memorized everything, getting familiar with the place she would be visiting for the next couple of weeks. She stopped in front of the door, taking in a deep breath as she double checked her clothes and made sure she was presentable – _idiot_ , that was what part of her said, remembering her that she shouldn’t care about such futile things; other part of her, however, felt the need to take some pride in herself and present a better image even if her new employer couldn’t even see her. It was about feeling confident, or at least, trying to. 

Instead of being welcomed by a maid like in the dramas, the wooden door was open to reveal Chaewon who gave her a smile and stepped aside, signalizing for her to come inside. Minjoo was a little surprised to see a small, yet beautifully treated garden surrounding the path that led to the house that stood tall a few meters away, all white marble walls and glass windows. Minjoo expected to feel even more uncomfortable now and she almost suggested for them to get going already, but the other woman beat her to it. 

** “Good morning, Minjoo. Thank you for coming! To be honest, I was only half sure you would come.”  ** A small, graceful laugh – Chaewon’s light tone not hiding the relief it carried, her expression more relaxed as she gestured for them to go inside the house. **“Come in, please. We should discuss some things before we started today’s stroll.”**

** “Thank you.” ** Minjoo had no option but to agree, letting out a quiet greeting as she walked towards the house with careful steps and Chaewon followed her – a brand new white cane in hand, yet she didn’t seem to need it as she moved so freely, leading the way to the comfortable living room with elegant sofas and finely made furniture placed with plenty of space in between – probably to help Chaewon to move around without trouble. It wasn’t as opulent, but rather modern and comfortable, even if a bit impersonal. 

She took a seat as instructed, her eyes darting around. She found a couple of pictures of Chaewon, curiously most of them only showed the girl alone, always sporting a bright smile that matched her eyes staring so confidently at the camera. There was something very different about the Chaewon in the pictures. Minjoo wondered if the difference was only connected to the loss of sight or something else…

Shaking her head slightly, she continued to look around, observing the corridor that led to another well-illuminated room by the morning sunlight. Her gaze spotted the elegant piano, only a small portion of its elegance could be seen from the living room but Minjoo could already tell it was marvelous. She wasn’t there for a home tour, yet she couldn’t help but want to take a better look at the instrument. Of course, she always loved pianos.

** “You have a nice house.”  ** She said in a neutral voice, unsure of what she was supposed to say as Chaewon sat on the seat at the opposite end of the couch. **“You wanted to talk about…?”**

** “Thank you, but Mrs. Jung is the one who keeps it in order. I would like to say it would be different if I wasn’t blind, but I was never that good at keeping things in place.” ** Chae admitted with an easy smile that was meant to, hopefully, put the other woman at ease. If Minjoo was a little restless, Chaewon had her own reasons to be nervous – yet she wasn’t planning on showing it. Being unable to see the expression on the other woman’s face made it hard to keep her act, making her second guess her expressions. Minjoo wasn’t the type to give out too much with her voice only, the well-modulated, quiet tone didn’t give much away. 

She didn’t lie when she said she wasn’t sure if Minjoo would come as promised, she actually had been waiting for the past half an hour since Mrs. Jung left the house and Chae was finally allowed to change into some new clothes and prepare for the day out. Having Minjoo guiding her would imply trusting her safety in the hands of this woman whom she barely knew – yet, here she was, filled with a nervous energy that was closer to excitement rather than fear. She just wanted to get things started. But in the right way. 

Her grip on the folded retractable cane in between her hands got a little tighter, the only visible signal of nervousness. **“I wanted to talk about how this deal of ours will work. Yesterday I didn’t even ask for your bank information or how we should organize your paydays…I didn’t even ask your surname.”** Letting out another soft chuckle, she made sure to show Minjoo the charming side of her that she used to present so easily. If she showed Minjoo to be a reliable, trustworthy person, that wary girl would – hopefully – do the same in return. **“I like to keep things clear.”**

** “Oh, I see.” ** Minjoo nodded, a habit she couldn’t just shake off even if Chaewon wasn’t aware of her actions. Her previous experiences with finding jobs gave her enough knowledge to know now was the time people tried to take advantage of her, by adjusting down the pay or trying to raise the number of working hours – she wondered if someone with a smile as angelic as Chaewon would do the same. **“My last name is Kim.”** Her voice was flat now, that name never meant much to her – another Kim, one in the millions of Kims, just another thing to help her blend in the ocean of people. **“What are your conditions? I suppose the terms of yesterday still stand?”** Minjoo asked, raising an eyebrow to check Chaewon’s reaction – people would say anything to convince you, but keeping their word was a different thing.

** “Kim? I think we have our second thing in common then.” ** This time it was easier to smile, it wasn’t something to be surprised about, considering how common the surname was, but Chaewon wanted to think about it as a good signal. **“Of course. I’m a woman of my word, Kim Minjoo. You just need to send me your bank information, as well as inform the correct amount you should receive.”** Chaewon didn’t even bat an eye before reciting her phone number, insisting for the girl to send in the message right now, completely aware of Minjoo’s reasons to not trust a random woman offering her easy money – in her world, even if people were filthy rich, being stingy with money was also a common occurrence. Chae wondered how many of those people Minjoo must have met before. As for her, she had no reason to care about money anymore. Chae had more than enough money to live comfortably and if it was to find her dog, she wouldn’t mind spending a little. 

It was a good thing Chaewon couldn’t see – well, it wasn’t like Minjoo wanted her to be blind, she was just glad the woman couldn’t see the frown on her face as she hesitantly took her phone out of her pocket to do as the woman instructed. Part of her still thought it was some sort of very elaborated, crazy scam, but a bigger part of her was just surprised with how straightforward and simple the other Kim was. _A woman of her word_. They indeed shared the same surname, but clearly the similarities didn’t go very far if Chaewon could be this relaxed about money. 

** “I will just send it now.” ** She did as she said, typing in the account details and the amount. If Chaewon was as rich as she showed to be, it would be easy to simply raise the amount and take her best chance – but, as a final similarity, Minjoo was also a woman of her word and she made sure to specify the correct number. She wasn’t sure who would be the one reading the message so, she even included her name. **“I will only accept the pay for the days of work. I worked from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. at my previous job, but we can adjust the time if you think it would be better.”**

** “Six hours is a little too much. We should just need three or four a day.”  ** Chaewonsaid, easing her grip on the cane now that she could hear something else in Minjoo’s voice, her tone slightly less wary and guarded. **“Here, for today, just so you know I will keep my word.”** Carefully, she finished out of her pocket the two bills she had picked from the ones organized by value she kept in a safe box in her room, recognizing how much it was worth by the size and the difference in the type of paper used. Handing it to the direction where she could hear Minjoo’s voice coming from and smell a distinctive clean scent. She waited patiently for her to accept the money. **“After this I will be making the payment every night online, if it’s okay with you. I will also pay for all the transportation fees and lunch, of course.”**

The younger Kim didn’t accept the money right away, observing the bills that were enough for four, not only one, day of work. There was no signal of arrogance or superiority in Chaewon’s voice, her tone professional and cordial – still, Minjoo didn’t feel comfortable accepting it, even if it was tempting. Refusing would be impolite, so she tried to reach a middle ground. **“I will accept the money once I have worked for it. It doesn’t feel right to do it when all I did was sit here.”** Forcing a smile, that she realized a little too late was useless in the situation, she hoped to have condemned the right emotions through her voice. **“I would like to start now, if you are okay with it.”**

There it was again – guarded, yet polite. _Pride_. Chaewon had probably offended her new friend and employee once again, by being so clueless. Trying to not grimace at her own lack of sense, she put the money back in her pocket, giving Minjoo a small smile. **“Of course, I understand. You see, you’re making me a huge favor. I’m thankful for that.”** She emphasized, making sure to not sound like the spoiled brat Minjoo surely thought she was – so much for being a walking cliché. **“Oh yeah, sorry. Just let me check our destination for today.”** Fishing something out of her pocket again, this time a smartphone with black screen that lit up only slightly under her touch. **“Open maps. Show list of favorite addresses.”** She requested and soon the device was spitting a list of addresses, revealing Chae’s latest searches from which she would select a new destination.

Minjoo, to her own embarrassment, admitted she was rather surprised. It was silly, of course, but it never occurred to her that someone blind could use a cellphone until now. But then again, when had she ever met a blind a person before Chaewon? Moreover, having close contact with one? There was a lot she didn’t know and if anything this was a chance of understanding better how someone else dealt with their daily struggles – struggles she never really thought about until now. 

** “Is it okay with you? I’m trying to focus on the family areas and places with a lot of food.”  ** The older woman asked, having slipped her phone back into her pocket. There was a subtle glint in her chestnut eyes today, something that could be called hope, a hope Minjoo wasn’t sure she should be really feeling.

The younger brunette just nodded, taking her a moment to remember she needed to voice her agreement – once more she felt a little dumb, realizing how often she took things for granted and how she would have to change that if she was going to spend time with Chaewon. **“Yeah, sure. How many places do we have to visit today?”**

The small smile on Chaewon’s face showed she didn’t mind her slowness to answer. **“As many as we can within our time. I told you only four hours, right? I will keep my word.”** She reassured, before standing up. Unexpectedly, she didn’t unfold the white cane, but instead she kept on her left hand, while extending her right one as a signal for Minjoo. 

Minjoo, remembering their last encounter, rushed to stand up as well and take Chaewon’s hand to place it on the back of her left elbow, allowing the woman to adjust it to make sure it was comfortable. She would be the guide for today and the next days ahead, yet she knew very little about what to do and had to rely on Chaewon’s instructions.

** “Let’s just head out. It’s a safe neighborhood so no need to lock everything up.” ** Chae explained, squeezing Minjoo’s arm softly, as a signal that it was okay to start walking. She already had her coat on, and everything she needed in its pockets – no bags today. She was relying a lot on Minjoo today – more than it would be smart to do, but if living in the dark taught her anything, was to face things with confidence or else she would never move. 

Of course, she wasn’t that stupid either. There was some extra money hidden inside her shoes again, her phone’s GPS was on and she had the little bracelet her mom had given her – the one that kept track of her moves and would only need two touches to send her location to the private security company that protected her mother’s company and herself. It was a little too much, and she hoped to the gods she wouldn’t need to make use of it, but those were safety measures she needed to have. 

With her hand grabbing onto the soft fabric of Minjoo’s jacket, noticing it was made of a better, lighter fabric than the one she wore yesterday – she wondered if inadvertently she had caused the other woman discomfort with her sudden comments. It gave her an unpleasant feeling of guilt and regret, yesterday she had been a little too desperate to moderate her words and it wasn’t the impression she wanted Minjoo to have of her. **“About yesterday, I am sorry. I think I was a bit rude and demanding, and all you did was help me.”** Grimacing, she tried to match Minjoo’s steps as she followed her through the fifteen steps that would lead to the front gate. **“I promise to be more mindful from now on. This thing may take a while, so I would like us to be friends.”**

Maybe because they were closer now, Chaewon could pay attention to Minjoo’s actions properly and understand her better.

There was a slight change in Minjoo’s steps becoming slower, and Chae’s sensitive ears could hear when she took in a sharp breath, her voice a tone higher when she replied – was it a good or bad thing, she wasn’t able to tell just yet. **“It is okay. I wasn’t in my best mood either.”** _Good_ , it was good, Chaewon presumed as she heard the inflexion on the younger Kim’s voice. It was subtle, but there, _kindness_. **“I will do my best to guide you well, I hope we can get along well.”** Still formal, but a little more relaxed.

Chaewon smiled, nodding as a reply. **“I am sure we will.”** She had lost count of the steps they took, but Minjoo informed her a moment before they stopped and crossed the door to be welcome by the streets of the city. The other woman seems to be a natural talent as a guide, with her steady steps and quick actions, Chaewon was able to follow her without any trouble – she noticed, again, something about Minjoo through those simple actions. Minjoo was smart in more than just one way. 

** “It is okay if you want to spend more time looking for it, you’re paying me quite a lot for only four hours a day.” ** Minjoo voiced something that had been bothering her for a while now – she didn’t want to take advantage of that woman. If it was a job, she should work for the money she was getting and it was a lot more money than what she would get from the gas station for double the time of work.

To her surprise, Chaewon just chuckled lightly, shaking her head. **“I appreciate the offer, but this condition is something I’m doing for myself. Being around so many people is a bit…”** She hesitated, furrowing her eyebrows as if searching for the right words. **“It gives me a headache. Too much noise, too many, people, smells and accidental touches. When you can’t see, suddenly the world becomes a little overwhelming.”** Making a face, she sighed. Chae always tried to show a more cheerful side of her and it was Minjoo’s first time noticing her actually bothered by her current condition – she wondered how often she felt uncomfortable and yet not told anyone about it. Maybe her humor was just her own defense mechanism. **“Four hours is more than what I could do on my own, so don’t worry about it.”**

It still didn’t feel quite right, but what could Minjoo really do? For once, she was getting a nice amount of money for a job that didn’t involve having to subject herself to long hours of hard work or deal with gross people. Maybe she should just enjoy this opportunity instead of question her luck. **“Okay. I will do my best to help you to find it soon.”**

** “ _Her_. Finding her, Minjoo.” ** The older Kim gently corrected, a half smile on her face as she gave Minjoo’s arm a light squeeze, making sure her words didn’t sound harsh. “ **You never had any pets, right?”** It was a simple assumption, a wild guess that fit right into the image Chaewon was slowly building from that stranger who was now her eyes. She didn’t know much about Minjoo yet, but they would have time to get close – hopefully, she didn’t want this awkward atmosphere to follow them forever. Maybe they could even become friends, Chae had a feeling they both could use a friend right now. **“Once we find her, I will let you guys play a bit. I guess you will get along just fine.”** The idea of it was enough to cheer her up a bit, a distant hope but it was enough for now. **“Let’s go. You lead the way, please.”**

Minjoo didn’t get a chance of replying, a slightly confused look on her face as she stared at Chaewon’s small smile that was both gentle and intelligent. Chaewon’s innocent assumption was more correct than she would like to admit, bringing back the image of a stuffed toy and a little girl to her mind, an image she would rather forget. Therefore, she was glad to go back to more practical matters. She had to focus once more on the work – the odd, unusual job that was now part of her routine. **“We will need to take the bus or a cab there, I think we should start for the park near the chicken restaurant they have there. I recall seeing some stray animals around there.”** She started, wanting to be useful and do what she was supposed to. She knew the city well and it would come in handy now. 

The older of the two, informed her she would hail them a cab once they reached the intersection, so they could move to the real destination without much hassle. 

* * *

As expected, looking for a dog in a huge city was no easy task. 

When they arrived at the busy neighborhood and Minjoo guided Chaewon to the huge park surrounding the area, they passed by several people and even found a few dogs laying around – no signal of one that looked even slightly like the animal Chaewon had described her. _“She has one blue eye and one black one, chocolate brown fur and a pink collar. It’s hard to miss because she is pretty big and loud.”_

Walking around aimlessly, with her eyes looking for the lost dog and any possible hazard for the blind girl beside her, made the task extra hard. 

** “It’s pretty boring, I know.” ** Chaewon said when they finally took a break, sitting in one of the benches of the park after over two hours of hopeless search. By now she was used to it. At first it was a bit reckless and scary, even embarrassing to be out there searching on her own through unknown paths and risking her own safety, while shouting the dog’s name and asking random people on the streets if they had seen it. After a month of it, though, she had forgotten those initial thoughts and right now her biggest worry was the chance of never succeeding. **“I don’t expect us to just magically find her today, so don’t feel pressured.”**

Chae’s easy tone made Minjoo turn her gaze back to her, giving up on searching through the nearly empty park for the dog. She wanted to do her best, it was something innate to her – always trying to make sure to complete the tasks she was assigned and do a good job. It wasn’t an altruistic thing or an admirable feature, she was just being practical. Money was important and she didn’t want to risk losing it. Yet, Chaewon didn’t seem to be as worried about the task at hand. **“Well, it’s work. I just want to make sure we have checked everywhere.”** Minjoo explained, although she wasn’t used to putting her thoughts in words. Around people, with the exception of Chaeyeon, she was never much of a talker – and here she was, stuck with someone who couldn’t read visual clues. **“Maybe we should make some flyers to give out or something like that. If you happen to have any pictures of it…I mean, her.”**

** “I will send you some pictures later. I have a few flyers back at home. We tried it before, offering money if anyone found her. Many calls, nothing useful.” ** The older woman explained, her voice slightly absent as she focused on trying to understand the girl beside her. She had let go of Minjoo’s arm when they sat, giving her some space. Still, she could recall the warm feeling of it under her fingers as the Minjoo led her through the park without any mishaps although the place had plenty of obstacles for a visually impaired person, Minjoo was good at finding them and giving instructions to Chaewon on how to overcome them, instead of just mindless pulling her away. The younger Kim seemed to have learned from their last meeting, her attention to detail making her the perfect guide – albeit a very quiet one. 

Two hours and Minjoo never even once tried to strike up a conversation, only talking to inform about a new obstacle, asking if she wanted to take a break or needed anything. Chaewon was starting to feel like an old lady with her awkward caretaker. The thought almost made her laugh, but she tried to control her smile as she lifted her head, squinting her eyes slightly to identify Minjoo’s gray silhouette – she couldn’t see more than a blur in the middle of many others, her light perception was getting worse by the day. **“May I ask you something?”** She decided to be the one to try, even if it only added to the stereotype she just thought about. Herself from five years ago would probably be shocked if she saw her now – well, but probably Chaewon from five years ago would be shocked about many things, not only her inability to make friends.

The blur that was Minjoo moved a bit and Chaewon just knew she had made her uncomfortable even with such a simple request, although the reply didn’t indicate it. 

** “Hm, yes, sure.” ** Minjoo said with a tight-lipped smile, an unpleasant feeling on the back of her mind as she tried to think about the possible questions she was about to face. For a grown woman, she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with things that were so normal. However, Minjoo was never a fan of people prying into her life – and most people did, even if under good intentions. She was expecting it, sooner or later, people always show their curious side and Chaewon didn’t seem the type to stay quiet. 

** “Kim Minjoo sounds very Korean for me, so I presume you’re full blooded Korean.” ** The older Kim started, a friendly smile as she spoke with the usual light, high-pitched voice that matched so well her appearance. **“Is it correct?”**

Furrowing slightly, Minjoo wondered where this question would lead. **“Yes, I was born in this city.”** She tried to anticipate the next question, taking a bit of control of the situation – her predictions were wrong.

** “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to intrude, albeit I would like to get to know you better…Eventually.” ** Chaewon seemed to be fully aware of the younger woman’s worries and she was quick to reassure her there was no need for it. Chae, more than anyone, knew the importance of respecting one’s limits and secrets. Whatever reason that caused Minjoo to be the way she was now – be it just her natural personality or something she learned from the dark paths of life –, it wasn’t up to her to push down the walls she had lifted. At least, not for now. **“I just want to know if I’m picturing you correctly. You know, it’s a bit unfair you know how I look but all I know is your voice and the back of your elbow.”** She tried joking as her hand reached to touch her own arm to demonstrate, using humor as a way to bring them together.

** “Oh.” ** Of course, Chaewon just wanted to know what she looked like, not her full story. Minjoo brought a hand to cover her own face, embarrassed that she once more let her presumptions take the best of her when they were just having a silly conversation to pass the time. **“There isn’t much to imagine, I think I am…”** She stopped midway, realizing she didn’t know how to properly describe herself. Ever since she was a teenager people complimented her looks, but she never took pride in it, finding it more of a source of problems than something good. She realized that, for the first time, she was dealing with someone who couldn’t judge her by her appearance. It brought her a weird sense of relief. **“Brown eyes and brown hair, like everyone else. We are about the same height as well.”**

Chaewon had to contain herself to not show her disappointment – she failed.

** “Now, you’re wrong. So wrong!”  ** Ever since she met Minjoo, she tried to picture the other woman, with very little success so far. **“I used to think the same, but now I realize all the details I miss.”** Minjoo’s image kept changing in her mind, the little things she was able to notice from being closer to her, working as small pieces in a much bigger puzzle. Things like the way their shoulders almost touched when they stopped walking abruptly, signalizing the similar height; or the way she could feel Minjoo’s slender arms on her grip denoting she was probably on the skinny side; sometimes the wind would blow the right way and she could feel Minjoo’s long hair hitting her arm for a second; or even the way she carried a sweet, feminine fragrance that was easy to spot and Chaewon wasn’t quite sure of what it was, yet now associated it Minjoo’s presence. All those made it easier to identify her new friend, but could help only so much to form an image. 

** “You may have brown hair, but is it straight or wavy? I know it’s long, but how long? Is it very dark to the point it can be mistaken as black or does it get lighter when the sun touches it and it’s almost like honey? Or maybe reddish? Or even with a few light streaks…” ** She tried to explain, the words coming easily as she numbered some the possible scenarios – and there were so many. She never thought much about how different people can be, even within a family, until she was unable to see anyone. Now the whole word was a giant blur and people just shadows, always there but never clear. **“There is a lot about a person that is completely unique to them, things that are hard to describe and to notice, but once you do, it becomes something special you can’t forget.”**

** “I…” ** Minjoo was speechless with Chaewon’s words. The other woman was right, she didn’t really notice those things, things that surely seemed important for Chaewon now. Sight and all the wonders of it, is just something everyone seems to take for granted and don’t appreciate enough. Maybe because being able to see beautiful things, doesn’t mean you see beauty in everything. **“I never really thought about it.”** Shrugging her shoulders, she looked at Chaewon who kept her eyes on her – Minjoo always thought blind people had lifeless eyes, void of any light, yet Chaewon’s were fierce and bright. Much brighter than her own eyes would ever be. **“I guess it’s almost black now, below my shoulder blades. It used to be darker when I was a kid.”** She had the perfect chance of describing herself any way she pleased, yet all she could do was give a plain explanation. **“I’m sorry, I don’t think I will be good at describing things.”**

Minjoo was, indeed, bad at descriptions. But it was a beginning and Chaewon took in her words with attention, another puzzle piece coming together – at least she could picture the brunette a little better now, even if she still had plenty of things to ask. **“That’s okay. Maybe we can just play and you let me try to guess it correctly until the day I eventually do.”** She said with a nod, giving the younger Kim a resolute smile as she decided to make it her way of keeping their conversation going for the next few days – it was a bit precarious and not very creative, but it was a start nonetheless. **“It might take a while, but we have time and until then…”** Her smile had some mischief to it as she finished in a light tone. **“I will just presume you’re very pretty and just too shy to tell.”**

** “So, you want to continue trying? The result might be disappointing.”  ** Minjoo was, once again, surprised and now a little amused with Chaewon’s ideas. It was different from the usual intrusive questions, from the not-so-subtle background check their society was always so obsessed with. It was almost like going back to her childhood days – Minjoo didn’t have many memories of hers, but it reminded her of when she first met Chaeyeon, they bonded over an animated series and didn’t even bother knowing anything else about the other for weeks. **“And why would you think it would be the case? Isn’t it easier to picture me as just another face in the crowd?”**

** “Because I only know you through your voice and actions, and so far, you look very pretty to me.” ** The honest reply was delivered with naturality, Chaewon’s usual smile on the corner of her lips as she patted the wooden bench until she reached Minjoo’s forearm, she patted it lightly. **“Not all beauty has to be physical. Another lesson I learned recently.”** Her smile became smaller for a moment, gray shading the chestnut eyes for a brief second before she was back to grinning. **“What about I tell you something about myself to make it fair? We can skip the ‘how did you go blind’ question for now, we should leave boring topics for another time.”**

Unconsciously, Min’s lips curved in a small smile as she heard the other woman. For the very first time in her life, hearing a compliment about her looks didn’t make her feel uncomfortable or annoyed, maybe because it wasn’t really about her appearance. Chaewon didn’t give her the chance to thank her though, changing topics quickly. **“I wasn’t going to ask about it.”** If she didn’t want people prying into her life, she wouldn’t be such a hypocrite to do the same to others. However, she had a feeling Chaewon would eventually tell her about it on her own, as the other woman seemed to be almost comfortable with her condition. _Almost_. **“Why did you name the dog like that? It’s an odd name for a service dog.”**

It wasn’t Minjoo’s intention, she couldn’t possibly know, yet this question wasn’t as simple to answer for Chaewon. Albeit the older Kim tried her best to not let her expression show, lowering her face as she pretended to be busy brushing her long hair away from her eyes. **“She is not a service dog and didn’t name her. She was my…”** The hesitation was unavoidable. It’s been so long, too long for her to even recall properly how she used to feel at the time, yet it still weighed her down. Those were memories from an important time in her life, but not necessarily a happy one. **“She belonged to someone else before. Like I told you, she is special to me so I can’t just give up on her.”** That dog, Yudaeng, was all she had left from someone she truly loved. She couldn’t do much for that person, but she could do it for the dog and she would make sure to bring it back home safely.

Minjoo regretted her thoughtless question right away, noticing the way Chaewon’s expression changed, even if the older woman tried her best to mask it, she couldn’t hide the sadness within her voice – one that Minjoo was all too familiar with. **“Oh, I see.”** What else could she say? Apologize for being insensitive? Try to put up an optimistic act and say they would find the dog soon? None seemed the right thing to do. Chaewon’s expression now, with distant eyes watching the park she couldn’t see and lips contracted in a robotic smile, told her that all she wanted was to change the subject. **“Darker than yours, but still not black. Like dark chocolate with a hint of gray to it.”** Therefore, Minjoo said the first thing that occurred to her after a few moments of awkward silence, no matter how silly it sounded. **“My eyes, I mean.”** Cleaning her throat, she felt herself getting a little red with her own words and the fact that now Chaewon was facing her – even if she couldn’t see, her gaze was still piercing like no other. **“I told you I suck at descriptions.”**

A chuckle echoed through the quiet morning in the park, the corner of Chaewon’s eyes crinkling as she laughed, feeling glad the tension was no longer present. Minjoo was quite unique, a little socially awkward, but it was easy to see how caring she was. Chae was sure she had made just the right choice now. **“I guess it answers my first question, thank you very much!”** Giving her a nod in recognition to her kindness, her smile grew as she put the past behind and focused in the current moment. **“But I still need to know if they are the type that gets brighter when you smile, or the one that goes gray when you’re sad or angry, or if it has a natural glint that makes it shine even when you’re upset…”**

** “You really enjoy this weird game.”  ** There was a hint of humor in Minjoo’s voice, a hidden laugh that revealed her relaxed, less guarded side – even if only for a few moments. **“I am afraid they have none of those things. Just plain, normal dark eyes.”** It was true, at least for Minjoo, her eyes were nothing but the dark pools that faced her every morning with a heavy look, big and expressive, showing things she would rather forget. Now that she could see it from up close, bright with laughter, she decided she found Chaewon chestnut ones prettier. 

Not only that, she realized she enjoyed the other Kim’s company genuinely. Chaewon who talked too much, but still didn’t know how to filter her words; who liked to use her humor to mask her feelings and tried so hard to reach her, even when Minjoo herself didn’t think it was worth the hassle. Chaewon who seemed to carry as many secrets as sparkles in her eyes, who seemed to have in hope her only strength to keep going. Chaewon who was from a completely different world, yet with whom she would be stuck with from now on.

** “Yes, I do. Let’s just say I’m trying to find new joys in life. Small ones.”  ** Chaewon didn’t hesitate, feeling at ease now that she could hear so clearly a new tone – lighter, almost playful – in Minjoo’s voice, making it sound even more pleasant. She decided she liked to hear it and would try her best to keep it like that. **“So please feel free to join my rambling, instead of lying about your beautiful eyes!”**

Rolling the said eyes, Minjoo didn’t mind her teasing. She glanced at Chaewon, admiring the way her delicate hands now tapped the bench gently, fingers moving to press against the wood as if it was the keys of the piano she left behind – someday she would ask her about it, about what that piano back in her house meant for her. But not yet. **“And does it work?”**

** “It’s a work in progress. But I guess, with time, it might.”  ** It was Chae’s turn to shrug her shoulders, her body language didn’t change as she kept on playing the imaginary piano on the bench with the rhythm only she could hear – an old habit she still carried from her previous life, practicing the moves that once were so hard but now were engraved in her muscle memory. **“Now, my turn to ask. It’s an important one this time.”** She felt a wave of energy running through her, a different type that she hadn’t felt in a long time, and whether it was because of the warm sun illuminating her body or because of this new friend in her life, she didn’t know just yet. But she liked it. **“What would you like to have for lunch? I’m hungry, let’s just walk a little more and eat something before calling it a day.”**

* * *

That night, Minjoo climbed up the stairs that led to her apartment slowly, feeling her body heavy after a long day of work – or better saying, evening. Not only Chaewon had called it a day with barely three hours of searching, but she also insisted on them eating lunch together before sending her home in the same taxi that left the older girl at her own house…Minjoo was still a little confused about that woman and the odd chances that led them to become friends. Friends, was it what they were now? It surely didn’t feel like work.

They were different, so different she wasn’t even sure if they would ever understand each other, still she felt like maybe things could work out exactly because of those differences. 

She had asked for the taxi driver to drop her off at Chaeyeon’s place instead, and as usual she just hung out there until it was time for her shift – even if it meant dealing with her friend’s loud laughter as she teased her about having ‘hit the jackpot’ with this job. Minjoo didn’t mind, being teased about something good was much better than seeing Chaeyeon worried and overprotective. 

The evening shift had been tough, with too many people in the small restaurant, making her sweat and run from side one to the other carrying trays of food and drinks. Not only having to deal with so many orders, but also with a few rude customers and even drunk people. Kim was used to the job, but it was tiring nonetheless. Still, by the end of the night, she almost offered to help closing down the place just so she could stay over to sleep, but she needed to check how things were back at her place. 

It didn’t mean she liked going back.

Minjoo was making her steps slower, delaying her arrival on purpose, when she felt her phone vibrate with a notification, and then another just a moment later. Furrowing, she checked the screen of the device, expecting to see Chaeyeon’s usual _“Did you get home safely?”_ text. Instead, she read a message from her bank informing about a new money transfer to her account. Of course, it was under Chaewon’s name. Just like promised, the money was there, and she had paid her for a full day even when they barely spent three hours searching. 

She wasn’t sure if Chaewon was just insanely rich, nice or she just believed they could really find that dog. Maybe all three.

Chaewon was going a little over the top, but seeing the numbers, Minjoo couldn’t help but silently thank her for it. With a week of work, she would have enough to pay the bills that were long overdue and if this job was extended, maybe she could even save some money. She couldn’t just throw away this kind of luck.

The next notification was as surprising as the first, an audio message from an unknown number – Minjoo knew from who it was even before clicking on it to listen.

**_ “Minjoo, thank you for today! You must have received the notification by now, but I just wanted to make sure you received the money correctly.” _ ** Chaewon’s voice began, it sounded calm and confident, and Minjoo could picture her recording it with one of her typical smiles on her face. **_“And to say I hope you had a nice time today, because I think we did a pretty good job.”_** Yes, she was definitely grinning and Minjoo herself smiled at it. Good work? All they did was talking and none of her old employers ever praised her for chatting. **_“Oh, and I know it may sound weird, but I have a good feeling about it. I don’t know why, I just do.”_** Minjoo’s smile became smaller, her steps reaching the floor where her apartment was located. Chaewon’s faith in them and hope for good results was something she wasn’t sure she could live up to. Yet, it wasn’t the reason for her fading smile. ** _“Thank you again, good night.”_**

The message ended by the time she reached the front door with a sigh. 

** “Why are you even thanking me again?” ** Muttering to herself, she quickly replied with a polite, yet distant tone. **_“I’m looking forward to working with you again. Good night.”_**

Chaewon was right, becoming friends wouldn’t be so hard. However, this friendship of theirs could only go for so long and in the end, she would be right back here, like she had always been.

Taking in a deep breath, she unlocked the door and entered the apartment where she had grown up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, how are you guys? It’s been like a month, and like I told you guys, the updates will be slow for now but at least you get a big chapter this time XD This chapter is more of an intro about our main characters and there are several clues about their stories here. Sorry angst enthusiasts, TW will come next time.
> 
> Next update will be UTS, probably in two weeks. So please wait for it (you guys are the nicest always and don’t even demand anything, so thank you for that)!
> 
> Please let me know what you think and any theories you might have :) As usual, I’m sorry about any mistakes and see you soon!
> 
> P.S.: Birthday shout outs to Ezra, Thirsty and Kath, happy birthday guys! And of course, a late bday to annyeongz :D


	3. Through Your Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW’s for this chapter: Implied domestic abuse, homophobia (nothing heavy) and mild language. This chapter is still pretty light, so those warnings are just to be safe.

####  _To some, ignorance is a disease. To most, it’s a bliss that once lost can never be restored._

####  _To know is to hurt. They wished it would stop hurting._

* * *

**“Can we start now?”** Minjoo asked when they climbed down the taxi, assuming the usual position beside Chaewon and allowing her to grab onto her elbow as the woman kept her white-cane in the other hand – by now they were already an efficient team, Minjoo knew how to support Chaewon and give her enough freedom with safety, while Chaewon seemed to trust her more.

She didn’t receive the easy smile and a quirk line in reply, as she usually would, but only a stiff nod. It didn’t take a genius to know that her friend – like Chaewon liked to call them – wasn’t very excited about their walk today, which wouldn’t be surprising to anyone else, but Minjoo got used to seeing a very optimistic Chaewon.

After a few days of looking for the dog, they reached the result Minjoo – and Chaewon, even if she wouldn’t admit it – expected: none. Of course, looking for a lost dog in a huge city couldn’t be an easy task, the fact that one of them was blind didn’t make the task any easier. Yet, today was the first day Minjoo noticed Chaewon’s mood a little grey – not quite upset or frustrated, but she looked distracted and distant as if her mind was miles away from there.

Minjoo couldn’t blame her, she was in a similar situation.

For some reason the chestnut-eyed woman never told her, they had been, not so subtly, avoiding visiting this part of the town. The older Kim always planned their itinerary, albeit she would accept Minjoo’s suggestions, she had been careful to stay away from that side of the town until now. Min had a few theories about the reason why – that neighborhood, the one with dirty streets and grey buildings, was the very own place she had lived for all her life and it was far from being a pleasant one. It was easy to presume Chaewon just didn’t want to walk aimlessly in such a place, maybe afraid of thugs – however, it didn’t quite add up.

She had met Chaewon in a place that wasn’t exactly noble, and regardless of the woman’s background, she didn’t seem to mind visiting the poor neighborhoods if it meant she had a chance of finding her dog. Therefore, Minjoo could only presume there was something else keeping them away from that place in particular – she didn’t ask any questions, she didn’t pressure and pretended to not noticed it; she was glad they stayed away from there.

Right now, as they finally set foot on the familiar streets, she had to purse her lips into a thin line, feeling her body grow tense as she looked around in the search for any of the _druggies_ that would hang around there to steal from distracted passerby, the crazy drunk drivers that infested the streets and some _special_ workers here and there – she knew that place like the back of her hand, just like the people.

She hated everything.

More than that, she hated how deeply incrusted inside of her the memories of it were inside of her, tainting her mind and soul. How no matter how far away she ever was, these memories would never fade away entirely – her own personal burden to carry, one that she doubted she could get rid of.

As they walked down the street, a block or two away from her apartment, she couldn’t shake off the bad feelings overwhelming her heart. Her eyes were open wide, looking for Yudaeng as she was supposed to do, but her mind, like Chaewon’s, was lost somewhere else.

_The streets were always grey, always dirty with the heavy layer of pollution and the people who were as toxic as any of the heavy carbon particles falling from the skies. People come and go without sparing her a single look, neither did she pay them any mind. She would walk with her head hanging low, paying attention to the puddles that filled the irregular pavement, trying to avoid stepping on it and having to deal with a cold foot and a dirty shoe – she wouldn’t be able to wash it today, it was too cold to do it by hand and she wasn’t allowed to use the washing machine._

_Minjoo only looked up to check the equally lifeless grey skies, her eyes going from it to the old apartment building where she lived. Stepping inside she could barely see anything, most people keeping their lights off to save on electricity, the stairs even darker as no one would bother to turn on the lights during the day – it was okay, she knew the way by heart._

_When they first moved there, she would play by the stairs, jumping up and down with her old plushie in her arms as she would make up some fantastic story about how she would take Baby Bunny – the round pink plushie – to safety after saving her from the monster that tried to imprison them. Sometimes the monster still caught up with them. One of those times resulting in the plushie being thrown down to the first floor, landing on a puddle of mudd, the once pink material becoming as grey as everything else – much later that day Minjoo went down to rescue the plushie, only to find it slightly torn after the dogs played with it. After that day she didn’t take the plushie outside with her, keeping it safely hidden under her pillow instead._

_Now, as a teenager, she didn’t play anymore – the plushie and the fantasy lost like her hopes of saving them. The naivete of childhood can only protect one for so long._

_If once she jumped from step to step, now she slowly climbed her way upstairs with firm, tired steps. She would take her time, holding on tight to the old handrail, forcing her body to keep going when the last thing she wanted was to arrive home after such a long day at the staffed school – the place taught her very little besides the burdening responsibilities of growing up in such a rootless society._

_Stopping in front of the door of her apartment, she would always take long, deep breaths and prepare herself for whatever she would find once she stepped inside. Most of the time it would be nothing, but the other times…the other times made her body shiver as if the cold fingers of fear were once more involving her, pulling her into an embrace she couldn’t escape._

_She first checked the electronic lock, noticing if it was still broken, the wires out of place as the dark tape failed to cover it properly. Minjoo tried to reach for her key, the one she kept on herself at all times, but it always took her more than one try to find it as her cold rigid fingers would fail her, making it hard to properly insert the key into the keyhole. Her hands were growing numb as she tried her best to listen to anything that could indicate the worst was happening – all she heard was her heart beating fast, so fast it was almost painful._

_When the door finally cracked open, making no sound but a small thud, she looked inside, before taking a step. It was dark, but not as dark as outside, the grey curtains – why was everything always grey in her life? Deprived of color, like she was deprived of so many things – allowing the weak sunlight to enter the room through the closed windows, giving it just enough light to allow her to spot her mother leaning on the table as she took notes on a small notepad._

_Minjoo breathed slowly, just then releasing the air she had been holding inside her lungs without even realizing it. It wasn’t one of the worst days, what didn’t necessarily mean it was a good one._

_She didn’t greet her mom verbally, the two women just exchanged a look as the older tried to force a smile onto her face. Her mother’s smile wasn’t a pretty one – it showed the premature wrinkles on her skin, the uneven teeth that were growing yellow from all the coffee she drank, moreover it never reached the dark eyes that were always dull, lacking the light MInjoo could recall it used to have. She wondered if hers would become just like that eventually, once her spirit was finally completely broken like her mother’s had been._

**_“I will get changed, so we can go.”_ ** _She informed in a small voice and her mom winced as if she had been hit, her nervous gaze going from Minjoo to the closed door by the end of the small corridor._

_The monster was sleeping today. It wasn’t one of their good days - did they ever have good ones? All days, one way or another, seem to always end with a note that was as dark as that room, be it born from disappointment, fear or pain...sometimes all of them._

_The older woman shook her head, standing up and placing the notepad inside her skirt pocket, grabbing the plastic bag she left over the table and coming closer to Minjoo, very slowly – Min didn’t need to look at her legs to know she was trying her best to not limp, hiding yet another wound. The metallic, sour taste of bile invaded Minjoo’s mouth as she felt the numbness of her hands growing stronger, spreading through her arms. **“We should go now. You can change downstairs.”** Her mom’s voice was as weak as her smile, almost breaking, so full of hurt that was all too familiar now. _

_Minjoo just lowered her head, nodding slowly as she tried to keep her tears away – lately she cried less and less, the burning feeling always there, yet no tear leaving her eyes. She was becoming numb, not only on the inside._

_Instead, she grabbed the bag from her mother’s hand and followed her outside, closing the door carefully, before offering an arm to the older woman for support so they could make their way downstairs._

_It was just another day for them._

_Another day she would use the public bathroom downstairs to change out of her school uniform and into the working clothes, ignoring the awful smell of the place and being as quick as she could, just so they could leave the building and be in the safety of the streets for a while. She had her backpack with her, but no homework would get done, as she would be the one in charge of their vegetable stall today – the small, almost decadent little place they used to sell some goods her mother and Minjoo would get in the central market in the early morning and resell for a small profit to the busy people on the streets._

_It was her routine. A silent, long and hard one. Yet, she never complained. She would rather be there than at home – most of the time, she would rather be anywhere but home._

_Even if eventually they would have to come back home and the numbness would be there to welcome her._

_It was just another dark grey day in a very grey life._

Minjoo took in a deep breath as she tried to distance herself from the memories she would rather bury forever – going back home tonight would already take all her mental energy, she didn’t need to deal with any more of it.

The streets were almost empty, people keeping to themselves in the cool morning and making their job easier by giving her a clear view of the small alleys and streets – Min was glad, not only because it allowed her to work fast, but also because she didn’t want to make small talk with nosy neighbors now; not that she was close enough of any of those people for them to even try. That place wasn’t a place to live, just to survive until you could move out and no one seemed worried about creating bonds.

For the first time, they walked mainly in silence. Chaewon, the one who spoke too much most of the time, only replied to Minjoo's occasional question about where they should go next, with vague replies.

Part of Minjoo wanted to ask Chaewon if everything was okay, but at the same time, she didn’t want to risk having to answer the same question. So, she just did as she was supposed to: she guided the woman safely through the grey streets, stopping every once in a while, and making sure to follow any clues – but even dogs weren’t abundant on those streets.

 **“I guess we can go to the next area now, there is a hospital a few blocks away** .” Minjoo finally broke the silence as they reached another dead end, deciding it was time to move a bit farther away. Maybe they would be able to make more progress there, even if the idea made her unease – work was work, she couldn’t let her feelings dominate her. **“I recall some restaurants around the area and maybe-”**

Chaewon shook her head firmly, cutting her off with a voice that was much deeper and serious than the usual playful one. **“Let’s just call it a day.”**

 **“But…”** Min blinked in confusion, hesitant about how to proceed. **“It’s barely been an hour.”**

 **“It’s enough.”** Chaewon’s reply was resolute, her eyebrows furrowed as she gripped a little tighter to her cane – something Minjoo could notice by how white her knuckles were now. Uncomfortable, anxious, tired...All things that didn’t match Chaewon. **“More than enough.”**

The younger woman only nodded, voicing a quiet ‘okay’ as she guided them towards a street where it would be easier to catch a cab. There was something wrong, definitely, but it wasn’t her place to question Chaewon now – maybe never. She couldn’t say she was disappointed either.

 **“Would you mind eating with me?”** Chaewon asked after a while, as the two of them stopped by the sidewalk. Her tone was still a bit stiff, but she gave Minjoo a small smile – it was almost apologetic, as if she just realized how off her behavior was today. **“Anywhere you like, except the places near the hospital. I don’t really like that part of the town.** ” The smile was still on her face, even bigger now as she tried to convince the younger brunette, but Minjoo could just tell that it wasn’t a genuine one.

Maybe the both of them just needed to get out of there, for their own reasons.

Hiding a relieved sigh, Minjoo waved at a taxi before turning to the slightly shorter woman to reply: **“Yeah, sure. I know just the right place.”**

* * *

The floor was made out of well-polished wood, making the sound of the heels against it echo through the whole place. Its ceiling probably had an oval shape to it, not very high, making it easier for the echoes to reach every corner, like a music room – it would probably make the place pretty noisy once it was filled with people, but luckily for Chaewon’s sensitive ears there weren’t that many people inside today. Right now, she could only count a few people, recognizing the different voices and tones, most coming from the other side of the room and the woman at the counter.

Chaewon tried to relax a little bit, pushing the smile back to her face as she remembered Minjoo was still there and she didn’t deserve to be treated just like a crutch – not that Chae had done it on purpose, it was just hard to focus today.

She had tried, so hard and so many times, to avoid being near that neighborhood. To avoid being near that hospital and all the memories connected to it, yet they were starting to run out of options and she had to push herself to visit a place that was a little too close from it for comfort. It was a bit ridiculous, and she was fully aware of it, after all she couldn’t even _see_ where they were, and therefore it shouldn’t matter.

But she knew it, and it _mattered_.

Walking through those streets mattered, feeling the weight of the shadow of the hospital over her mattered, knowing that it was hovering over her with its imposing grey shadow, carrying all the bitter memories and regrets that still _mattered_...It mattered, and it hurt. Hurt more than she thought was possible.

They were still far away from the place, yet it felt like she was walking on its corridors once more.

Not being able to see only made her more susceptible to the memories – damn memories that didn’t seem to lack a single painful detail. Sometimes people wonder how can blind people dream, but for her, who wasn’t born like this, her dreams and memories were still filled with very clear images; even the ones she would rather forgive. But not only that, now she seemed to be more sensitive to the sound and the memories of it.

As Minjoo guided her by the streets, even if they were blocks away from the wealthier area where the hospital was located, the faint sound of a song reached her ears and it was enough for her brain to insist on replaying small moments, single sentences and everything connected to this song she hated so much – the one that used to be a favorite of someone who was no longer there.

**_“Did you hear the song I told you about? Chae, it’s so good!”_ ** _Her voice was nice and light, full of energy as she spoke – it had always been, this didn’t change even with time. Chaewon was starting to find it a bit annoying._

_Indeed, she was annoyed with a lot of things lately._

_The large room with white walls and shiny floor, the flowers decorating the corners of the room and matching the light pink curtains that were supposed to make the place look less like a hospital and more like a normal bedroom – it ultimately failed, the strong smell of detergent and medicine was still there, glued to the walls and even to the lady of this room; her pale face barely hidden by the thin hair and the purple spots in her arms, the constant beeping of the machines monitoring her…That place was nothing but a fancy trap, one from which that girl seemed unable to escape._

_By now, Chaewon already knew that the chances were that she would never leave that place – this made the idea of staying there even more unbearable to her. Like she was visiting a tomb, risking to trap herself inside as well._

_Pursing her lips and shrugging her shoulders, she waved a hand in dismissal. **“I will do it later. If I remember.”** No, she wouldn’t. She didn’t want to and they both knew it – the girl sitting across her still had a smile on her face as she nodded, but it wasn’t as bright. She didn’t have many reasons to smile – Chaewon used to be one, but not so much anymore. _

_Chaewon didn’t pay her any attention, she hadn’t done it in a while now. Maybe because she was tired, maybe because that place was so suffocating that it made her feel a little bit sick too, maybe because she was just too selfish and could only think about herself, or maybe it was just that she couldn’t stand to watch the pretty girl in front of her slowly fading away – probably all, those feelings so complicated that she wouldn’t even bother trying to understand them; she just acted first, pushing it aside as she kept going with her life; she needed to, otherwise she would be as hopeless as the other woman._

**_“Are you going already?”_ ** _The girl with bright dark eyes and equally dark hair – the one that was becoming thinner and thinner, opaque and fragile – asked, her hands holding onto tight to the colored covers of the hospital’s bed as she waited for a reply. She looked very young and vulnerable, a sight Chaewon didn’t want to see._

 **_“Uhum.”_ ** _Was Chaewon’s only reply as she put away her stuff and checked her phone to see if she was late. She didn’t plan on wasting anymore practice time to stay here and chat. **“Your parents will be here soon.”** _

_The girl lowered her gaze to her own hands, trying to hide her disappointment. **“My parents…”** _

**_“Yeah.”_ ** _There was a bitterness to Chaewon’s voice, one she wasn’t sure of when started to appear, but that she couldn’t shake off now – she didn’t want to, it was one of her ways to show all the conflicted feelings inside. Again, she was selfish and silly like all teenagers, but she would rather be than becoming a shadow. **“See you later. Be good to the docs.”** _

_She didn’t wait for a goodbye, she just waved her hand, turned her back on the girl and started to walk away. There were looks over her, heavy and judgmental as she walked out, one in particular was sharp and piercing through her skin – yet she ignored it, just like all the others. She wouldn’t, couldn’t, stay any longer inside that trap just because people thought it was her duty._

_They couldn’t expect her to stay there and die too._

The memory wasn’t the worst one she carried, far from it, but it hurt more because it allowed her to see a very real and dark side of herself that she tried so hard to hide now. It was so long ago, still the guilt would never cease to haunt her.

Back then, she wasn’t mature or kind enough, she was burdened by her own emotions and rage that it blinded her to everything else – how ironic, maybe that’s why she was eventually blinded for good, as if karma had hit her the hardest. She doubted the sweet girl she met once would ever have wished it upon her though.

Those memories were bitter, yet not all of them were. Things changed quickly back then, so quickly that she could barely recall it at times. Still, she would rather stay away from that hospital and the dark moments from the past, than risking going there and facing the one memory that hurt even more than her own personal tragedy.

 **“Ten o’clock, the meat. Around two for the egg and some leaves in the middle, lots of noodles underneath. Your water is at your left, Chaeyeon left it at a safe distance.”** Minjoo’s voice brought her back from the memories, reminding her that she was supposed to be talking to her new friend instead of stuck in the past – they left that neighborhood behind, but her mind was still wandering.

It took her a moment, and a good look at the blurry grey shape that was Minjoo sitting opposite to her at the table, for her to realize what she meant. Of course, the always so perceptive Minjoo was giving her instructions so she wouldn’t embarrass herself too much by flubbing around and dropping the food – it wouldn’t be the first time, there was a reason why she would try to stick with things that didn’t require any aid of sight, like sandwiches or fries, but she had made a mistake today.

She gave the younger woman a thankful smile, not only for the clear instructions but for Minjoo ever so patient and gentle self. In the few days they spent together, most of her suspicions about the other Kim turned out to be correct – Minjoo was kind, self-righteous and attentive, she worked hard and had issues taking it easy, but she had a surprisingly soft side that Chaewon could spot more and more often.

Chaewon thought this relation – whether or not Minjoo considered it as friendship yet – could last for a while.

 **“Thanks. To be honest, at first I refused to eat outside because I had the feeling people were always staring at me...”** She made a face, not needing any other words to explain it. It was weird how being blind made her more aware of the people surrounding her, since she was unable to see herself, becoming self-aware was like a curse for her. It took some time until she was confident enough to not care as much about what others think. **“I still struggle with it. You noticed it, right?”**

Minjoo nodded, an old habit she still didn’t manage to overcome although she met Chaewon daily – noticing her little silly acts didn’t bother her as much now, instead she would just correct it as soon as she realized what she was doing; Chae was always patient, what put her at easy and allowed her to feel a bit more comfortable.

In fact, in the last few days, she learned to be more and more comfortable around the slightly older Kim and it made her new ‘job’ the most pleasant one she has ever had. It was like walking around with a friend – she was starting to agree with the word Chaewon had picked for them. Chaewon was always the talkative, easy-going person that was really hard to ignore, she was true to her words and surprisingly caring. She would listen to Minjoo well and pay attention to her actions as well – Min noticed she didn’t only do it regarding the search, but also about everything else, from the food they should pick to eat, to the way she would grab onto her forearm so lightly to the point it didn’t make the younger woman tense up anymore. _Considerate_ , it was the best word to define Chaewon.

 **“You do it just fine.”** She reassured with honesty, after all even eating Chaewon still had a sense of elegance none of the rude customers she was used to serve, could dream of. **“Actually, you have better table manners than most people here.”**

 **“Of course, I do. My mother would be mortified if I didn’t.”** Chaewon replied, now with a tone that was more like her usual one, light and easy. A smile on her face matched it perfectly – Minjoo didn’t think anyone would be bothered even if the girl made a mess with the food, Chaewon was too charming to incite anything but admiration. Minjoo wouldn’t allow anyone to make her uncomfortable if they intended to, she was never fond of bullies. **“Thank you for today, I’m sorry if I wasn’t the best company.”**

 **“No, it’s fine.”** If Chaewon thought being quiet was worth apologizing for, she clearly had never met Minjoo’s previous boss – Minjoo still wanted to slap the man just to think about his face. **“I am here to work. You shouldn’t feel the need to entertain me.”**

 **“I don’t.”** It was Chaewon’s turn to shake her head, but this time her smile was a little bigger – patient. **“I just enjoy talking to you.”** And as if it was as simple as that, she gave Minjoo one last smile before going back to eating.

And for some reason, Min just knew she was being completely honest. Before she realized, she also had a smile on her face as she focused on the food.

* * *

Chaewon eats slowly, probably being careful to not make any mistakes, hence why Minjoo would always be the one to finish it first – she finished it quickly this time though, because there was something making her uncomfortable. _Someone_ , to be more specific.

She was used – even if not exactly pleased – to dealing with men gawking at her, even when she was clearly not interested. But there were looks and _looks_ , and this one was the latter. The college kid sitting two tables away from them, with his oily hair and dirty varsity jacket, had been staring at their both for a while now. That wasn’t so unusual, Minjoo knew they were quite a sight, not only because of Chaewon’s dashing looks and elegant clothes, but also the fact that the woman was blind.

However, that kid wasn’t acting like most guys who would just look curiously from afar or try to give them dumb smiles. He had been staring insistently at them with a smirk, a smirk that turned into a sneer once he noticed that Chaewon made a mistake and almost knocked down the cup of water – Min had caught it just in time to avoid a mess, but it made rather obvious that Chaewon couldn’t see and the man clearly catch up on it. Suddenly his interest that initially seemed to be towards the older Kim, was now aimed at Minjoo.

Heavying a deep sigh, she tried to keep her cool and not go over to him and throw the rest of the water at his face. Being a pervert wasn’t enough, that dude really had to be such a prejudiced asshole? She hated that kind of person the most.

 **“You sighed two times in less than three minutes.”** Chaewon’s voice took Minjoo away from her thoughts about slapping the guy, making her turn her attention to the blind woman in front of her. **“What is up?”**

 **“Nothing…”** She tried to lie, but she knew it was useless as the older woman arched an eyebrow in disbelief. Chaewon might not be able to see, but she had a sharp mind and instincts, trying to hide it from her would be of no use. With a third sigh, she explained, **“There is a guy staring at us. He has this look in his eyes…Despicable.”**

 **“I see…not literally, but I understand.”** Chae’s tone was light as she replied, albeit the usual bright chestnut eyes looked a little more serious now, there was tension on her smile. **“Don’t mind him.”** Carefully, she slowly reached out, sliding her fingers through the table until she could find Minjoo’s hand and gently place her hand on top of hers and squeeze it lightly – warm and soft, confident and protective. Chaewon even smiled at her in a different way, almost smirking as she completed in a slightly louder voice. **“Honey.”**

Minjoo was a bit surprised with the approach Chaewon had chosen to deal with the guy, but not displeased.

The hand on top of hers was one of the few she had learned to accept the touch so naturally, different from the guy’s eyes on her, it didn’t make her feel exposed and vulnerable, but safe and calm. Seeing the way the man’s face turned into a scowl, dark eyes now filled with disgust instead of lust, as he mumbled some curse before leaving the place with quick steps, Minjoo was actually satisfied with Chaewon’s methods.

 **“Did he leave?”** The older woman asked once she heard the sound of heavy and quick steps against the wooden floor, the steps quickly vanished as the sound of a door being slapped shut echoed through the place for a moment – angry, the man was probably very unpleased with her little demonstration. A bittersweet smile made i’s way to her face as she slowly retracted her hand out of Minjoo’s reach, straightening her back as she tried to compose herself. She was so fed up with dealing with people like that. **“Was it too much?”** The question was done with an apologetic tone to it, as she remembered she didn’t ask for Minjoo’s opinion before acting.

 **“No, it’s fine.”** Minjoo answered right away, her voice blunt and honest as usual. She wasn’t the type that lies about that kind of stuff and Chaewon felt herself relaxing a bit, but not enough to make her not continue talking.

 **“You can tell me if it’s not.”** She insisted, knowing that for a fact, for many people something as silly as that gesture could have big implications – be it grounded on fear, prejudice or even disgust. From all she had learned from Minjoo, none of those applied, but she still wanted to be open about it. **“I’m not trying to hit on you, but I know some people feel…Weirded out by the thought.”**

Narrowing her eyes, the younger Kim rested her crossed arms over the table as she looked at Chaewon’s expression that was serious all of sudden. Chaewon was hardly ever this serious, in the few times the smile gave place to a frown on her face, it meant she was talking about something actually important for her – maybe this situation was hitting a bit too close to home now. Carefully, Minjoo asked, **“Did you experience it before?”**

Chae moved on her seat, a hand instinctively holding onto the retractable cane inside her pocket, an old habit of hers as if she was looking for strength, before she decided to be completely open about it – it wasn’t like it was a secret, but there was always this sense of tension whenever she mentioned this aspect of her life. And maybe, just maybe, she cared about Minjoo’s opinion a little too much. **“Well, I’m the type that _could_ hit on you, if you were ever interested. If you know what I mean.”** She tried to sound nonchalant about it, after all, for her it was only natural. But this was still a country where such a thing was looked down and frowned upon by many, and right now she couldn’t look back at them confidently. **“So yeah, it happened a few times. Even before I was blind.”**

Min didn’t reply right away, nodding to herself as she took in Chaewon’s words and what it meant.

It didn’t surprise Minjoo. Chaewon didn’t show any interest even when men came up to them with lazy pick-up lines – she wouldn’t even bother asking for a physical description of them, as most women would do. She was very passionate about describing places, things and even animals, but she didn’t mind the men. And of course, the pictures of the girl back at her place were a pretty good tip.

At times Chaewon even sounded a little flirtatious – but then Minjoo remembered she couldn’t possibly know what she looked like, neither should she be interested in someone like her when Chaewon was probably used to date people from a very different world.

It didn’t bother her much, Minjoo always tried her best to not think about dating – anyone for that matter, although she was wary of men for various reasons, her mind was always too tired to think about such frivolous things. Needless to say, a love life was never her priority for her.

 **“I don’t mind it. Why would?”** Shrugging her shoulders, she simply put things how they were for her. Growing up, she had experienced a lot of bad things, one of them was being judged by others for things she couldn’t change, things they didn’t see as correct but that were part of her daily life. Whether Chaewon dated girls or not, it didn’t change the person she was – if anything, being brave enough to live by her own standards made Minjoo admire her a little more. **“You don’t make me uncomfortable. It is the opposite.”**

Ever since they met and started to see each other every day, Chaewon always made her feel at ease – awkward at times, of course, but slowly she was able to get comfortable and Minjoo was hardly ever comfortable around anyone other than Chaeyeon.

She could see Chaewon visibly relax on her seat and it made Minjoo smile for the second time today, gently patting the older girl’s hand.

 **“Now eat up. It’s getting cold.”** She urged Chaewon to finish her food before the woman could find some silly line to say like it was so typical of her – how weird was the fact that Minjoo wouldn’t even mind if Chaewon did it.

Chaewon didn’t protest, but the spark was back in her eyes as she ate the rest of her food.

* * *

**“So, as usual you were right and the food is great!”** Chaewon said once they were done eating and had pushed their empty bowls aside, now just waiting for the bill. Minjoo was going to take the bowls back to the kitchen herself, but Chae seemed to be back to her normal-self, which meant a lot of small talk. It was weird, but she felt a bit relieved to see the other back to her chatty-box mode. **“How did you know about this place? The girl that served us, Chaeyeon, is she the owner?”**

Of course, Chaewon and her exceptional memory wouldn’t miss the energetic woman’s voice that sounded so clear as she introduced herself with a not-so-subtle chuckle in her words – Chaewon liked her right away, because she noticed the chuckle was directed to Minjoo, the kind of friendly banter she never thought Minjoo could engage in.

 **“Yes, I mean it’s her parents’ restaurant but she is taking over.”** Minjoo explained, looking over at the direction where the kitchen was located. Lunch wasn’t the most popular meal there, so Chaeyeon could work with ease, using some help from her little sister to serve the few customers. At night though, the place was always full and even with Minjoo’s help, it was hard to have a single moment to breathe. **“I work here a few nights a week. She is a good friend.”**

Minjoo was the type of person who prefers visiting familiar places, no wonder she picked one where she felt comfortable with the staff – Chae was extra grateful, as it also offered good service and food, making the stressing task of eating outside, less tiring.

 **“That explains the tone in her voice earlier.”** Chaewon took a mental note to pay even more attention to the fellow Chae, learning about this friend might give her a better understanding of Minjoo – the Minjoo outside this ‘job’, the relaxed one she rarely sees.

Min frowned, stopping halfway through the task fixing everything on top of the table to make Chaeyeon’s job cleaning it easier. **“Tone?”** She knew Chaewon was observant and she could pick up clues from a person’s voice, but their exchange with Chaeyeon had been brief and simple – she only asked for a quiet place for them to sit and them ordered the food as Chaeyeon gently accommodated them at a table at a quiet corner of the place. Chaeyeon had a little annoying smile on her face, a knowing look in her eyes – but those weren’t things Chaewon could see.

Chuckling lightly, Chaewon recalled the way Chaeyeon accentuated the words as she asked if they were there to eat together as if it was such a big deal, the little wondering hint as she risked calling Chaewon by the her full name – a teasing friend behavior, she had a few of those back in her teenager days. **“Yes, that…”**

 ** _“_** **Here you go! Some dessert as service for the _young ladies!”_** The owner of the place announced, as the sound of two bowls lightly colliding with the wood table tinkled Chaewon’s ears.

Oh yeah, that tone was definitely the one Chaewon mentioned. Chaeyeon’s sudden appearance was just perfect to illustrate it – Chaewon could picture her as someone who laughed often, maybe someone tall and lean, with hands that gestured often to match her energetic voice and candid personality.

It was amazing how much you can pick up from small details, once you have to rely so much on sound.

 **“Thank you!”** The place was a bit dark, so she couldn’t discern the shadows that well, but she tried to smile at the direction from where the voice was coming. She bowed her head in a polite nod. **“Chaeyeon, right?”**

 **“That would be correct!”** Chaeyeon’s smile was evident on her voice, pleasantly surprised. Chaewon definitely liked her, her voice wasn’t only clear, but it also showed her emotions so well, making that woman look like an open-book to her – surely different from her best friend. Chaeyeon seemed simple and nice, the best kind of people. **“You are also a fellow Chae, so it’s a pleasure meeting you, miss Kim.”**

 **“No need for formalities, just call me Chaewon. We should be about the same age, am I right?”** Chaewon asked, using her old habit of trying to guess things about people – in her mind, that woman should be about Minjoo’s age, what meant they were all born around the same year. **“Thanks for the food, it was great! I will tell Minjoo to bring me more often.”**

 **“Yes, sure. Let’s be friends!”** The friendliness in her voice was genuine and Chaewon could imagine the girl smiling with her eyes as she gently patted her shoulder. **“You will? Yes, please you guys should be here _together_ more often.”**

While Chaewon was enjoying the conversation, Minjoo could only cover her face with a hand to hide a sigh as she noticed the silly grin on Chaeyeon’s face – her friend didn’t even bother being subtle, taking advantage Chaewon couldn’t see her antics. Chaeyeon wasn’t used to seeing her with other friends – or whatever she had in mind now –, and she was clearly enjoying this opportunity to do all the teasing she couldn’t practice throughout all the years of friendship.

 **“You know, we were just about to ask for the bill.”** Minjoo said, cutting them off and pointing to the plates full of the best pudding Chaeyeon could produce – what was pretty tasty, but she had never offered as free service before.

But of course, it was no common occasion for the Lee girl.

 **“Don’t worry about that, I can always discount it from your tips.”** Chaeyeon shamelessly winked at her, before going back to talking to Chaewon, not bothering to check Minjoo’s annoyed reaction. **“I would also accept payment in nice conversation! Chaewon, wouldn’t you have any questions about our MingMing? I know she can be quite the mysterious type…”**

And of course, oh yes, _of course_ , Chaewon took the chance.

 **“Really? Oh, I would love some clues about her…”** The younger Chae chestnut brown eyes sparkled with excitement, as a small playful smile appeared on her face once she leaned in a bit to tell Chaeyeon, **“You know, we have this game about guessing her appearance but I’m stuck with the part about whether or not she had dimples for days…If you could just give me a _tiny_ tip...”**

 **“It’s cheating if you tell her.”** Minjoo nagged but she didn’t stop Chaeyeon when she tried to whisper some tips to Chaewon like a kid would.

It wasn’t like she minded that silly game of theirs that much, but watching the two Chaes together was making her feel slightly embarrassed. Chaeyeon was less than a year older than her and yet here they were, with the whole ‘meeting the parents’ situation. Was it how it feels to take a friend home? It was almost comic, if it weren’t so embarrassing. Again, if it were anyone but Chaeyeon, she wouldn’t be so patient about it.

That afternoon, as she watched the two Chaes talking and Chaeyeon telling Chaewon about silly facts related to Minjoo, as if she wasn’t there, she didn’t feel annoyed or uncomfortable like it usually would when it comes down to anything related to her personal life – because it was Chaeyeon, but it was also Chaewon, and she just knew that those two would never go too far, they would never say or do anything to overstep her limits.

It was still a little embarrassing, but it was okay. She was just glad that her mind could be filled with their silly chatting instead of painful memories for once. It was a change she could get used to.

To a day that started so gloomy, it was surely taking an unexpected, joyful turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, guys. It took me a while to update, but I had my reasons and well I still posted some other stuff. Take it as a special christmas update (a late gift for Mint!). TYE is a bit different, it requires more time and care, so I hope everyone enjoyed it. This chapter is important and a preparation to what is to come. Please let me know your thoughts, theories and questions if you have any in the commentary section.
> 
> As usual, I’m sorry about anything and thanks for reading! You guys can find me on twitter @uncreativeacc if you want to chat or check my other word. Thanks again and see you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is up and I'm sure you all have many questions and doubts, but I will ask you all to trust me in this one and not presume too much just yet. As some of you may know, I'm currently very busy studying for exams and I will be for the next couple of months, so you guys will have to deal with slow updates for this one.
> 
> Please don't spoil too much of the story in the comments. I'm sorry about anything and see you soon (hopefully).
> 
> P.S: Everyone remember to wish Chaewon a happy birthday, I'm sorry I'm posting angst for her bday :/
> 
> P.S2: I know I promised a dystopian fic, I will post the first chapter for it when I have the chapter 2 for TYE ready.


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